


Wedding Dances

by Gabriels_Mourning



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, First Dance, Getting Together, Wedding Night
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 21:07:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 36,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4537389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriels_Mourning/pseuds/Gabriels_Mourning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Morgana never turned evil, Uther's passed away, it's a few years along.<br/>Gwen and Arthur are getting married finally, and Morgana goes to find Merlin, who's ducked away to get some fresh air.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Garden Promises

Gwen and Arthur's Wedding Night

Merlin opened his tower door and took a deep breath of the crisp night air. He loved it up here. The two towers of Camelot that reached for the stars the highest were one of his, and the other of Morgana’s. They looked across the expanse of Camelot to one another and on nights like this, it seemed they stood in watchful vigilance, even when the whole of Camelot celebrated. Music flowed up the sides of the tower and into the garden in happily subdued volumes. He lifted the glass of champagne that he carried and touched it to his forehead in salute. He could almost hear the heat of everyone dancing far below, even though it was still quite chill. The music flowed again, the last song before the happily wedded couple took to the floor for the own dance if he remembered the plans correctly. He gave the champagne glass a look of caution. His recollections might have been off. Merlin looked at the stars dancing in the glass by the moonlight and sighed.

“So great a sigh, Merlin. Arthur and Gwen’s big celebration not happy enough for you?”  He bowed low to Morgana as she came out onto the roof of his tower.

“My Lady honours me with her presence. A happy day, of course.” Morgana’s beauty was only barely outshone by Gwen’s tonight, a marked effect on Morgana’s behalf to allow the former serving maid and still dear friend a moment to shine. As beautiful as Gwen was, she held no countenance equal to Morgana’s, thought Merlin. Her hair was in artful curls and ringlets that cascaded down over her shoulder in a breathtaking fall. She wore a blue gown, his favourite colour on her, which showed off her hips and hugged her shoulders, scandalously short at the thighs and tight to her skin. The sleeves bared her shoulders but clung down her arms as she crossed them over in front of her body. He shut his mouth with a snap so he wouldn’t pant after her as he usually did like a stray dog begging for scraps of attention. The music swelled beneath them and he turned away from her. She was so beautiful she made him ache.

“My Lady, you should head inside. It’s quite cold out here.” She watched him with her dancing eyes and shrugged, drawing his eyes guiltily to the perfection of her chest, adorned with the silver jewels that came into a twisted tree shape. They complimented the earrings he favoured on her so much, small silver vines which draped bejewelled fruit from spider silk thin vines, even as they curved up the crest of her ear.

“I’m still quite warm.” She moved next to him against the battlement walls, staring down over the quiet contentment of Camelot. “Gwaine smuggled in some of that foul white spirit he’s so fond of. He poached the strawberries I’ve been eating all night in it.” She giggled then and he could smell the strawberries on her breath. His smile faded as he considered her bright mood at Gwaine’s antics.

“He thinks the world of you, you know.” His voice was carefully neutral, and Morgana considered that, staring out into the night.

“He’s a good friend.” Merlin smiled.

“Friendship means different things to different people. I believe that he would be more than happy to be more than such with you, my Lady.” Morgana scoffed.

“Gwaine would be more than happy to be such with anything with a slim rear. You’d best watch yourself, if he gets lonely, Merlin.” He smiled humourlessly until she put her hands on the stone in front of her, so close to his that he could feel her heart beating quickly into the stone under his fingertips. His whole body tingled with energy, hyperaware of her and everything about her. The wind caressed her and lit gooseflesh along her arms and he turned away, pulling off his jacket and draping it around her shoulders. She tucked her chin in to the collar and breathed in with a smile of thanks.

“I can’t help but wonder if he’d be so very crushed were I to tell him my thoughts are with another.” She had dozens of suitors, of course, but hadn’t chosen any to date. But naturally she’d have her eye on someone. Irrationally, Merlin’s ire rose.

“Lucky man.” His tone was terse, and he missed Morgana’s smile against his jacket again as he scowled momentarily.

“He doesn’t see it that way,” she murmured. Merlin’s face drew carefully blank and Morgana hid her smile again.

“Then he’s an idiot.” She coughed and began to laugh, unable to contain herself. Merlin looked away as the silvery peals of laughter caught at him and he ached for her again. Eventually, she shrugged prettily and turned her back on the open night air, facing into the garden that surrounded them with a soft smile of pleasure. It was beautiful and intriguing beyond belief. Once Gaius had passed, Merlin had taken over his duties and shifted into this huge tower, ostensibly to clear the old physicians quarters. Morgana knew that living in his mentor’s room had hurt Merlin dearly without Gaius’s fatherly presence. Morgana felt another pang at the loss, less than two years old. Merlin’s first order of business had been to convert the old stone gardens into rich, lush hangings of all the herbs he’d need for his ministrations. Valerian rose and lethen, milkwort and lavender, rosemary and garlic all combined into a heady scent of sweet and rich earths, even in the darkness. In the spring rains, the garden scents were so strong on the wind that she often threw her windows open wide simply to catch the breeze, filled with the richness of the gardens in the opposite tower. It was like echoes of Merlin’s own scent, the herbs he worked with. That and a latent heat, like steel left to grow too hot at a forge. It was intoxicating and she breathed in deeply of Merlin’s distinctive power.

“He’s not so bad,” she whispered. “His redeeming qualities are endless.” Merlin stayed staring out into the darkness, the moon paling his features as the music rolled below. The cool air felt good after enduring the heat of the feasting for hours.

“He… would be the envy of every man in the kingdom.” She caught at his words and leaned in closer until their shoulders touched, but he did not look to her, and she would not meet his eyes.

“Every man…” she trailed off, questioning. “You’re a man, Merlin…” He met her whisper with silence, and longing. His jaw worked as he tried to come up with something suitably comic to throw her attention, but she was too beautiful, here and now, for his wit to defend against. The moonlight made her seem an angel, and if he looked at her, he knew he’d pledge his love and devotion until his dying day. But there was no place for that in his life. Arthur’s duty, that was all there was. Court Physician. But moreover, this was the Lady Morgana. Not just Arthur’s sister, but the woman who gave Camelot its heart. Even Gwen bowed to her kindnesses. It wasn’t just how beautiful she was. It was WHO she was. That is what truly made his heart ache around her. He focussed his attention on the night. At least he could do that. Keep the conversation normal. The music below them devolved into cheers as Leon stood up and began his speech, inviting the happy couple to the dance floor for their first official dance as not merely King and Queen, but more importantly among the tight knit family that was Camelot’s royal house, wife and husband.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He gestured out to Camelot, resting below them.

“Yes.” Her tone was sad, and she moved away from him, making him suddenly feel cold without the warmth of her arm beside him. “Merlin, I’m… heading to bed. But I need something from you first.” The intimacy washed away and he turned, already feeling broken before her. Nothing more than a servant and that’s all he’d ever be. He steeled himself.

“I never got a dance, tonight. A girl should dance just once at her brother’s wedding, shouldn’t she?” Merlin stared at her blankly even as she smiled softly and bit her lip.

“My Lady?”

“Dance with me, Merlin.” He looked about nervously as she walked up to him and gently picked up his hand. “There’s no one else here. There’s no impropriety. I just want a dance, that’s all. Nobody is going to get hurt.”

“You haven’t seen me dance. There’s every possibility.” She smiled then, and Merlin’s heart turned over in his chest at the breadth of that happiness. Her eyes sparkled in the moonlight and Merlin fell in love a thousand times over in that second’s worth of a smile from her.

“Then show me, and prove it.” He stretched out his tall frame and she stepped in close to him as the music began below, softly echoing up and over into the garden and guiding their steps. Time stood still as they moved together, responding to one another and to the music, letting it guide them around the open steps of the garden atop the tower. Under the moonlight, in the benedictions of the roses around them, they danced, moving gently to the music that cradled them. Their feet moved perfectly, and Morgana smiled knowingly at Merlin.

“You lied again, Merlin. And now, tomorrow, you’ll have to explain to me why you’ve never danced with me before now, Merlin.” He smiled softly at her, so beautiful in the paleness of the moonlight, dancing blue over her features from the cloudless night sky.

“You say my name in such a way…” He trailed off, and Morgana tilted her head to the side as she looked up into his face, her feet moving with his in the circular motions.

“Yes…?” She left it open and waited, her heart suddenly hammering in her chest, and Merlin looked away.

“Nothing.” He looked down at the stones they danced on, as if embarrassed, and Morgana took a deep breath. He was never going to admit it. So it wasn’t a matter of time. The time was now, she decided. She hadn’t gotten dressed like this for “Nothing.”

“It’s because I want you to know that I’m talking to you, Merlin.” His face came back to her and she stopped dancing. Merlin stilled as she came that hairsbreadth closer to him and pressed herself against the length of his body. The seriousness in her eyes captured him, held him. “Only you. I see you, and I hear you. I’m wearing your favourite earrings because you always stare when I wear them. I’m wearing the perfume that always makes you breathe deeper when you smell it. I’m wearing blue because it makes your smile adorably goofy whenever you look at me. I don’t know what else to do to get your attention.” He stared at her and then his cobalt eyes shone light grey in the moonlight at her. Morgana’s mouth hung open as their intensity snared her.

“My attention? You _always_ have it. They’re my favourite earrings because they bring out your eyes the same way your smile does when you laugh. It’s my favourite perfume because of the way it mingles with your scent and makes you more you. As for my smile, it’s “goofy” when I forget that I’m not supposed to be in love with you.”

Her eyes widened at the last and her face softened into blinking eyes that bound him to her gaze. He held her hand delicately and twirled her around under his fingertips until she held herself out, too far away from him. He bowed down low over her hand and kissed her palm, pressing it to his forehead in fealty.

“But you’re the princess of Camelot, my lady. I’m not, nor will I ever be worthy of…”

“Oh, damn that, Merlin. Not up here, I’m not. Up here, I’m just…” She pulled him towards her, moving back into the rose bushes that shaded them in sudden darkness. She pulled him against her and felt his hand slide up her cheek to cup her chin as she looked up into his eyes, begging him to come closer. “Up here, I’m just Morgana,” she breathed to his lips. They parted slightly and she pushed against him, catching his lips with a small hitch in her voice telling him that she had wanted this just as much as he had. She kissed him, softly at first, then more thoroughly as her hands went up into his hair and his own encircled her, holding her delicately but firmly, until Merlin lost himself too and his hands dug into her hips, pressing her against the leaves of the bushes and his mouth further enveloping hers. She moaned into him for a moment until he pulled back, and she followed him, kissing at his chin and wanting to continue.

“Just Morgana,” he quoted, mockingly to her. “I suppose, I guess that doesn’t matter then.” She leaned back, her arms unforgivingly strong around his neck as she cradled her body against hers.

“You guess…?” she echoed warningly. Merlin shook his head, his eyes soft and his smile rueful.

“In that, it doesn’t matter _who_ you are. I’m still lost without you.” Her smile was sudden and broad, as though it hurt her for its wide intensity.

“You’re not without me, Merlin.” She indicated her arms about his neck with her eyes and he gave a low laugh that reverberated around her ribcage, thrilling her fluttering heart.

“Then I’m lost when I’m not with you.” Her smile grew wide and happy against him again.

“Then always be with me.” She bit her lip to constrain her smile, which only made her more kissable, in Merlin’s eyes. He breathed her in and kissed her again, fully and carnally against the side of the tower’s door. Morgana broke off the kiss and pushed him back before grabbing his hand and leading him back down into the tower, towards his quarters. She turned around as he pressed her against the door to his chambers and kissed her again. She was bubbling happiness as she laughed at his desperation to get through the door, opening it with a fumble and lifting her up into his arms. She kissed him soundly, through her smile as she whispered “ ** _Beclýsan_** ” and closed the door behind them, sealing them in. Merlin gave another laugh and his infectious happiness built on hers.

“Got an answer for everything, don’t you, my Lady?” She lay down on the bed and beckoned him with a crooked finger and eyes that had haunted his dreams for as long as he’d drawn breaths of Camelot air.

“Shut up and kiss me, Merlin. We’ve got a lot of time to make up. I’ve been waiting a long time for this.” He paused over the top of her and stared at her at that revelation. She bit her lip again as she stared at him, taking in every feature as if storing it for herself. He shook his head slowly and smiled in wonder as he stared at her, lying on his bed in his sheets and touching him so gently.

“I really am an idiot.”

And then there were no more words between them, only what should have been from the beginning.


	2. What Comes After What Should Have Been...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 2:30am as I go to post this. Been up nearly 24 hours, so slightly dazed and confused at this point... if there's any issues, it's all... well, it's my fault still, but you get the picture...
> 
> Merlin and Morgana have given in to their feelings and spent the night. Was it just one night? What happens in the morning? 
> 
> This does, obviously, just read on!
> 
> Got some hardcore bromance between Merlin and Arthur, really deep friendship stuff for them. And the banter is back, in a big way, because things got so serious all the time, then when they were together and alone, they kept up the friendship well. 
> 
> And Gwaine. Loves me some bromance between Merlin and Gwaine, even to where Gwaine is a fan of Mergana. Total head canon, of course, but it's feasible. If it's not feasible to you, well, get off my page! We have good Morgana here! She can be fluffy! Back to Merlin and Gwaine, they had such great chemistry, it looked like they just had a blast in any scene, so I threw some in there because he's my favourite of Arthur's knights and I really enjoyed letting them guide me through the interplay. 
> 
> Comments always appreciated, adoration more so.

What Comes After What Should Have Been

* * *

* * *

 

Morgana woke slowly, languidly.  The room was filled with light and warmth, both from the lingering heat of the fire and from the body under her.  She lay on her back, her limbs strewn across his in what should have been a completely uncomfortable tangle, and yet was simply perfect.  Her leg was propped over his inside knee, and her hip pressed against his groin.  She smiled naughtily and gave a soft, disbelieving laugh as she pressed against him, feeling him respond.  Fingers moved slowly in her hair, and she twisted up, looking into Merlin’s gentle features, and low lidded eyes. 

“Good Morning.”  His lips widened in an amazed smile and he nodded. 

“Yes, hi, of course, hey, hello.”  Morgana laughed intimately and turned into him, moving her hair over her neck and staring at his.  Small bruises were blossoming up the side of his chest and up to his neck, shaped like her mouth and teeth.  He stared at her quizzically and she shook her head as she pursed her lips innocently. 

“Now you show your nerves?”  Merlin laughed, and hot sparks danced up her body from the arches of her feet to the base of her neck at the low, heady heat he induced. 

“You were the bold one, last night, my Lady.”  She smiled, biting her bottom lip and watching his eyes glaze over hungrily as he stared at her. 

“You weren’t going to make your move.  I’ve had enough of waiting for you, Merlin.”  He smiled then, but it was soft smile, a gentle smile with no seduction that touched a very different part of her, a much more vulnerable part. 

“I told you, you already had me.  You’ve had me for years.”  His voice was so soft, and the laid her head down on his chest and began to trace meaninglessly on his chest with her nail.  His pale flesh showed rose coloured lines in the cold air, even if his skin was hot. 

“I half expected you to be gone when I woke.”  Merlin laughed then, trying to contain it as she jostled on his chest, but her smiling lips parted happily as she laughed too, caught up in the moment.

“Go where, Morgana, we’re in my chambers.”  She tapped her finger on his chest, pretending to consider that.

“I see…  it’s I that was supposed to go.”  Merlin scoffed and she reached up to caress his chin.  Playfully he opened his mouth and bit at her fingertips.  “Are you happy I stayed instead?”  Merlin’s suddenly powerful eyes locked onto hers. 

“I understand things a lot more now.”  She narrowed her eyes cryptically at him.  He lowered his face towards hers and she opened her mouth, lifting up towards him.

“ _ **Beclýsan**_ _?”_ The word didn’t have the power to it that she’d used last night, but thankfully so, as the door was too far away, and out of the warmth of the covers that wrapped around their naked bodies.  Merlin reached forwards and ran his hands through her hair, fascinated by it.  He smoothed it back over her head and ran his fingertips down her scalp, eliciting groans of pleasure that he manipulated like a virtuoso, squeezing and rubbing until his fingers had turned her neck into jelly. 

“Now where did you learn a… magical word like that?”  Morgana’s playfulness disappeared as she tilted her head to look up into his face.  Merlin’s finger slowed their probing dance around her shoulders as she stared at her face.  Fear showed in her eyes for a moment but he scoffed at its source.

“You should know I would never judge you for it, Morgana.”  He smiled slowly as she nodded mutely.  “In fact, I’m guessing that Gaius gave you the tome.” 

“Not only,” she admitted.  “Several small diaries that I at first didn’t know the author of.  Until they started speaking about the pain and frustration of not being able to help me.”  Merlin’s face moved away from hers and she caught his chin and eased up his body, bringing her face to his and touching her fingertips to his cheekbones lovingly.  “You could have told me, Merlin.  I would have understood.”  He smiled, closing his eyes and shaking his head in her fingers. 

“That’s easy to say now.  But back then…  back then I didn’t know what I know now.  And I couldn’t put anyone I cared about in danger.  You lived in Camelot.  One slip with your magic and it could have meant… a great of things.”  Morgana watched his eyes turn down and away from her, feeling his shame at his helplessness.  She silently forgave him for it, though she had been passed her anger for a long, long time now. 

“I would have been executed.”  Merlin shook his head. 

“No.  Arthur wouldn’t have had me by his side, and I’ve saved his life a thousand times with magic.  He might have died, and then he’d never have been king.”  Morgana frowned as she rested her chin on her hands, tilting her head to the side.  She was secretly thrilled at the markings on his neck, as though she had told the world that he was hers.  And to make it all the better, she didn’t think that he knew they were there as yet. 

“How do you equate my execution for having had magic with you not being there for Arthur.”  His eyes turned back to her and suddenly they lit with an inner flame, as though a thousand angry dragons stared back at her.  Morgana felt both a cold chill spread down her spine and a lightning hot thrill at his power rock her to her core.

“I would not have let that happen, Morgana.  Not then, not now.  Never.”   He brought her hand up from under her chin to kiss her palm, and she sighed happily and blushed.  

“I feel so silly.  Like a young girl.”  Merlin gave that low laugh that sent hot shivers down her spine again and she dragged herself up even closer, kissing at his chin, which was starting to scratch at her fingertips.  She kissed him again, liking the sensation.  Merlin’s hands slid back around her the back of her head and pressed her in closer to him as the kiss widened, and deepened.  He was adoring her and losing her in the kiss, and Morgana moaned his name quietly, happily. 

There was a crashing knock at the door and Gwaine’s voice bellowed out, stilling them both in sudden shock. 

“Merlin, wakey wakey, Arthur’s summoned you to the great hall.  Morgana’s not in her chambers, and none of the guard have seen her list well before the feast ended last night.  Arthur’s frantic, you’d better come with me!  Merlin!”  He banged on the door again, and Morgana hid her mouth and tried to stifle the laugh.  Merlin ran a hand through his hair as he looked helplessly at Morgana.  The door lock rattled, and Morgana wrapped herself in the sheet, leaving Merlin naked as she darted behind the door.  Merlin cast about frantically and pulled on his sleeping drawers, backwards.  They hung at the front and Morgana giggled at the sight as he glared at her reproachfully before clutching his dignity and opening the door.  Morgana’s eyes widened and she gasped before wincing and hiding behind the door, out of sight. 

“Right then, Merlin, you’ll need more clothes on to see the king…”  Gwaine’s eyes narrowed and he stared at Merlin, before his eyes moved back further into his chambers.  “I, uh… “  His eyes darted around and settled on something behind him, but Merlin refused to turn and look.  Gwaine looked at Merlin’s neck again and visibly relaxed.  He grinned suddenly, and shook his hair out of his face with a lopsided grin. 

“Well, Merlin, I’m sure at any rate, wherever she is, the Lady Morgana’s been well tended to.  I’ll just assume she’s…”  he smiled knowingly and Merlin lifted his eyebrows enquiringly, but didn’t dare speak.  His neck protested slightly, but Merlin put that down to his arched sleeping position under Morgana. 

“I shared some strawberries with her Ladyship last night that were a bit potent.  I’m sure she’s… she was just feeling unwell and someone helped her to some quarters.  To her quarters, no doubt.  I’ll send someone up to check on her room in about…  say… half an hour?”  Merlin held the pretence for another moment or two, and then nodded, sharing a thankful smile with him.  Gwaine bowed and turned, heading off with a light laugh and whistling tunelessly.  Merlin shut the door and turned to look at Morgana, who was looking at him with eyes shining with supressed mirth.

“How did he know?”  Morgana bit her lip again and tapped a nail on his chest, where her tiny rosebud marks had blossomed on his skin.  She tapped each bruise, leading up his neck and against his throat.  Merlin blushed deeper with every tap of her delicate fingertip. 

“And then… there’s that…” she winced, though the smile never left her face as she pointed to the bright red of his neckerchief, discarded carelessly across the opened strapping of her bodice, atop her bejewelled, distinctive dark blue dress, strew carelessly across the chest at the foot of his bed.  Merlin stared at it. 

“Ah.”  She smiled again and nodded with a seriousness she simply couldn’t feel right then. 

“Mmm-hmmm.”    She laughed then, and Merlin joined in guiltily.  He stared at her, his heart in his eyes as his eyes roved over her face.  Standing there, barely wrapped in his sheets, and he still stared at her face.  Morgana let one corner of the sheet slip, and he kept his eyes on her face until she let the rest drop to the floor and stepped towards him.  Her hands went up around his shoulders as she pressed herself up against him.  Merlin stared at her in wonder still, and Morgana smiled that he should still share so much of his wonder in her so openly. 

“I suppose I should…  walk you back to your chambers…?”  Morgana laughed lowly to herself as he so plainly didn’t think much of that idea, but knew it was the right thing to do. 

“So genteel, my Lord.  Such courtesy, I’m feeling almost sorry for those bruises now.”  He rubbed the side of his neck for a moment before shrugging unconcerned. 

“Almost?”  He grinned sheepishly.  “Arthur will think I’ve been attacked by something again.”  Morgana ran a finger along the bruise line until she was holding his chin to kiss him.

“Luckily, you wear that neckerchief all the time…  you can hide what I did to you.”  A dark, hungry thrill ran through her at his apparent lack of concern. 

“Yeah, I can… except I kind of like the idea of everyone knowing I’m not a eunuch.”  She laughed lightly at that, a laugh that brought out a smile so wide on his face that she felt a flutter in her chest. 

“And I kind of like the fact that anyone who see them on your naked body will know that you were mine.”  She hadn’t expected that level of honesty.  She was possessive in her love making, but even Morgana was surprised that it carried over.  Merlin’s barley contained happiness made it completely worthwhile. 

“I kind of like that thought too.  But the number of people who’ve seen me naked or close to is pretty low.  Even fewer of them being girls.”  She arched an eyebrow at him and his lips parted in front of her.  She kissed him again, feeling him running her hair through his fingers absently.  It was a far more tender affection for her than she’d ever been showing, and she ached for him to continue, but he didn’t.   Frustrating man, she thought idly as she closed her eyes, leaning in to his bare chest and feeling the heat of his body under her skin. 

“Are you…?”  He trailed off and she leaned back, staring up at him. 

“Yes?”

“Are you busy today?” he blurted.  Morgana considered that, and when for honesty again.  It was habit forming, and beginning to scare her, but with the revelation of her magic, she didn’t want to keep secrets from Merlin.  Not when he had proven time and time again that he would protect hers. 

“Very, at least in the morning I will be.  Arthur’s declared today a national holiday, but that does mean that the people that work for a living are free to come and see me.”  Merlin frowned, trailing a fingertip through her hair and brushing it out of her face.  She looked up at him, biting her lip again to him and watching it affect him.

“What do you mean?”  She turned him around and moved towards the bed, squeezing the fingers that he wrapped around her hand and didn’t let go of. 

“Are YOU busy today?”  He didn’t object to her question as an answer. 

“National Holiday.  That doesn’t stop people from being sick, but I don’t have any official business to attend to.  No council meetings, no physician’s meetings.  Nothing busying me up that can’t be put off.”  She smiled at that. 

“Would you like to?  Be busy today?”  He picked up her dress and looked at the intricate lacings and buttons as if they were ancient calligraphy and bundled them up into a ball and pulled out some of his clothes.  Morgana’s smile widened as she slipped them over her head, using a spare neckerchief to tie up her hair.  Her own neck was unblemished, which Merlin felt was unfair, but also devastatingly beautiful.  She lifted her shoulders prettily and Merlin rolled his eyes at himself.  Then her question came back to him and he turned and pulled another set of clothes out for himself. 

“Have… I mean, spend the day with you?”  She nodded at his suddenly hopeful tone. 

“I’ll have a lot to do, but I… You don’t have to, Merlin, of course, but if you’d like…”

“Yes.”  He blurted it out boyishly and excited, and Morgana felt her own smile come unbidden as she tried to calm the excitement that had her breath racing through her throat and out her lips.

“After breakfast then?”  He nodded quickly, his smile disappearing behind his shirt and then his neckerchief, which covered the bruises adequately, unfortunately.  Morgana couldn’t help the rueful grin as she wrapped his jacket around her.  They looked like twins for a moment, but the kiss she chased him for most certainly wasn’t. 

Morgana opened the door and peered out into the chambers, but there wasn’t anyone out there.  She ducked back in for another quick kiss, hating to leave him when she was feeling so giddily happy. 

“I’ll meet you in the north hall; there’s a small area near the top garden balcony that I’ve had set aside for my daily meetings.”  Merlin touched her face tenderly and nodded against her, breathless from the kiss.

“I’ll be there.”  She hurried off with a smile, ducking around the corner and disappearing.  Merlin’s chambers seemed suddenly cold and lifeless and he sat on the bed, giving her time to move towards her chamber.  It was only a short dash across the top balcony to her tower, and chances were she’d go unchallenged, but he still worried that Arthur had stirred up the guards rotations in the hornet’s nest of his worry. 

He held himself together for as long as he could, looking in the mirror and making sure the bruises were hidden.  Morgana had been so passionate, so unrestrained in the dark hours of the night.  She was nothing he’d even dared to dream about.  He may have loved her for years, but she was more than he’d ever dared to consider.  She was everything more.  He took a deep breath and then opened the windows to let the fresh air in as he doused the fire’s embers with some water.  He couldn’t quite bring himself to wash her scent off his skin just in that moment, and he doubted that Arthur would be sniffing him for traces of Morgana’s perfume.  Thoughts of Arthur had him suddenly bolting off the bed again and locking his chambers before heading off to the great hall. 

∞₸∞

“What do you mean you don’t know where she is, but you’re sure she’s okay?  I’ve warned you before about those bloody strawberries, Gwaine, and for you to try them on my sister…”  Merlin hurried forward as Arthur’s irritation began to edge upward into actual anger.  Gwaine was standing at attention in front of him without a smile, and was clearly covering for him.  Merlin felt a rush of warmth for his friend and stepped into sight, flashing the insipid grin that always annoyed his monarch.

“Good morning, sire!  Beautiful day, isn’t it?”  Arthur’s eyes shifted off of Gwaine and widened as Merlin became the focus of his ire. 

“MERlin.  About bloody time, where have you been?”

“I…”

“Fine, it doesn’t matter.  Gwaine’s gotten Morgana lost and hung over somewhere with those bloody poached strawberries.  I want you to stop growing them; I know he gets them from you.  Do you know there’s not a chambermaid in the west wing that doesn’t know what they taste like?  This is entirely your fault, Merlin.  I want you to stop growing them.”  He turned around, storming away. 

“But Morgana likes strawberries.  Gwen too, for that matter.”  Arthur whirled around; one hand lifting up until the second part of his statement rang in his ears.  Gwaine’s face reddened.

“No, yeah, no, I’ve not…”

“Shut up, Gwaine.” 

“Yes, sire.”  Merlin waved a hand airily at Arthur’s scowl.

“Morgana’s fine, sire.  I just saw her in the halls.”  Arthur’s scowl darkened and his voice lowered to the overly civil tone he used when he was about to prove himself in the right.  He was being insufferable.  Merlin glanced at Gwaine, who winked at him with one eye.

“You just saw her.  In the halls.  She’s been missing since last night, where was she?”  Merlin opened his mouth and then he grinned.

“Sleeping off Gwaine’s strawberries?”  He looked at Gwaine, who violently shook his head.  “No.  Sleeping off her congratulatory celebrations on your behalf?”  Arthur thought about that for a moment. 

“Is that an explanation or a question, Merlin?”  The warlock’s mouth worked soundlessly. 

“Um…”  Gwaine leaned forward.

“Who is Merlin to know the mind of the princess?”  Merlin nodded, and then smiled in thanks. 

“Exactly.  Well put, Sir Gwaine.”

“Oh, my pleasure, Merlin.  Anything for a friend.”  Arthur was looking at them suspiciously and took a deep breath and let it out as he stared from one to the other in consternation.  Gwaine raised his eyebrows at Merlin inquisitively.  “It’s about time for your lesson, isn’t it, Merlin?”  The warlock nodded, but shrugged.

“I thought I’d skip today, Gwaine.  The king here has declared today a national holiday.  The whole kingdom is recovering from their celebrations on his behalf.”  Gwaine exaggeratedly “oh’d” in apparent comprehension.

“That was nice of him.”

“I thought so.  Marriage seems to agree with him.”  Arthur opened his mouth, but they were in the swing of it now.  Gwaine nodded sagely and lifted his eyebrow again.

“Spending the day with anyone, then?”  The barest hint of the laughter shining in his eyes lifted the corner of his mouth.  Merlin’s eyes narrowed and he looked at Arthur guiltily. 

“Well, I’m… I’ve been asked to assist the Lady Morgana for the day.  When I saw her in the halls.” 

“This morning, you mean?”

“Yes, just now.”

“Hmmm.”  Gwaine nodded slowly as Arthur threw his hands in the air at the byplay.

“I’m right here, you two!”  Merlin looked at Arthur, waiting for him to say something else.

“Was there something else, sire?” he prompted innocently. Gwaine looked away, the laughter escaping him after all. Arthur slumped back, defeated.  Merlin’s lips twisted into a smirk and the young king shook his head. 

“Morgana looked alright?”  Merlin’s thoughts when back to the previous night and he began to burn a deep red, though his grin was wide and his eyes bright.  Arthur’s scowl deepened. 

“I’m not asking you how good you thought she looked, Merlin, you pervert.  You watch your eyes where my sister is concerned.  She’s safe?”  Gwaine chuckled. 

“Oh, from harm, no doubt, but from anything else… pfft.”  He shrugged, melodramatically and copied Merlin’s innocent look. 

“Shut up, Gwaine.”

“Yes, sire.”

“You’re helping Morgana then, Merlin?”  He nodded, keeping his eyes downcast as his mind did it’s best to distract him with the thoughts of her pale skin and naughty eyes as she moved over him and on top of him.  Burying his face in her hair…

“I want to know what happened last night.”  Merlin’s face fell and he paled.

“You what then?”  Arthur waved a hand, then grunted as he realised it was one of Merlin’s gestures of assuredness. 

“You don’t have to be rude about it, Merlin, just find out what happened last night.  I just… she’s my sister, Merlin, the only one I have.  If she’s off spending her nights… Gwaine if you don’t stop grinning at me, I’m going to cut off your… sword.”  Gwaine turned and winked at Merlin again, and they both tried to stop from laughing.  Arthur thought of something else as he smiled at them.

“What could Gwaine possibly have to teach you that you couldn’t learn in any tavern?”  Merlin smiled, still laughing. 

“Gwaine’s teaching me to fight.”  Arthur’s smile fell a tiny bit, but he hurriedly covered it up and nodded to Gwaine. 

“Good luck with that.  I tried for years.  He’s just not built to be a knight.”  The spark of laughter left his eyes as he awkwardly gripped the goblet in his hand and then drank from it.  It only held water, but Merlin frowned at the nervous behaviour the king was showing for a moment. 

“I can barely lift a sword, that’s for sure.  Gwaine’s showing me how to use a staff.”  The long haired knight was also narrowing his eyes at his monarch watchfully. 

“He’s got quite the knack for it, actually.  Took Percival around the big tree truck he calls a neck the other morning.”  Arthur nodded, but didn’t smile.

“That’s good, Merlin.  Learning new things is… always important.”  Merlin shared a concerned glance with Gwaine. 

“Are you alright, sire?”  The blond king nodded and refilled his goblet from the water canister behind him. 

“Yes, of course.  I uh… If you gentlemen will excuse me, I think I’ll head back to bed.  Gwen shouldn’t wake up alone.”  Merlin laughed lowly at that. 

“Gwen was a servant for years, sire.  I’m sure she was awake far earlier than you.”  Arthur tilted his head to him in reprimand. 

“She was in bed asleep when I left, Merlin.  Probably tired out after last night.”  Merlin rolled his eyes and Gwaine barely contained himself.

“Maybe you could take her some strawberries…?”

“Shut up, Gwaine.”

“Yes, sire.”

“Don’t you have chambermaids to go and render heartbroken?”  Gwaine laughed lowly and bowed. 

“How can I refuse a royal command?”  Arthur shook his head and the long haired knight nodded to first his king, then his friend. “Merlin.”

“Gwaine,” Merlin acknowledged his friend with another conspiratorial grin and wink.  Gwaine backed away still in that bow and left, whistling to himself tunelessly.  Merlin lingered as the doors on the hall closed.  Arthur sighed and turned, catching Merlin looking at him oddly. 

“Something on your mind, Merlin?”  The warlock nodded slowly. 

“You’re a king, Arthur.  The King.  Of Camelot.”  Arthur’s lip twisted into his good humoured sneer.

“You know what, Merlin, you could actually be right for once!” he mocked.  Merlin shook his head, all traces of humour gone, though he did look on Arthur with affection.

“I mean that you can’t waste your time teaching me how to use a stick.” 

“It’s a bit more than a stick,” corrected Arthur distractedly, forgetting to deny his feelings had been hurt.

“Long staff then,” allowed Merlin.

“No, Merlin,” Arthur sighed.  “Short staff actually.  Long staff refers to pikes or spears, generally around eleven to twelve feet in length.  The short staff is between six to nine feet.”  Merlin’s jaw dropped comically.

“Well, there you go, I mean, who knew people cared about that sort of thing?  Small things amuse… well, you know.”  Arthur’s lips pursed through his scowl, and Merlin grinned. 

“Is Gwaine a good teacher?  What’s his technique like?”  Merlin shrugged. 

“He’s not you.  But he’s alright.  And he’s not as… robust in his training methods as you are.”  That brought a smile to the king’s dour face. 

“You healed.”  The two of them shared a grin in the empty throne room.  Merlin’s smile softened at the hidden hurt in his friend’s tones and countenance.

“You can’t be seen to favour anyone, my lord.  Can’t take time out from running the kingdom just to teach me how to defend myself.  You wasted enough time trying to do that over…”

“Merlin,” Arthur cut him off.  He looked down at the goblet in his hand uncomfortably, but as he spoke, the words flowed more confidently.  “I’m… king.  But I’m not Odin, or Sarram, or Caerleon.  I’m Arthur of Camelot.  First of my name.  And that means that if you asked me, I’d make time to do it.  To help train you.”  Merlin bowed, deeply touched.

“I know.  Truth is, by not training with you, I’m hoping I’ll get good enough to one day last more than five minutes against you.”  Arthur smiled then, and attempted a straight face. 

“That’s a bit generous.  Why don’t you aim for two minutes, if you’re really going for something achievable?  I might get distracted.”  Merlin looked around, but they were actually alone, no attendants or anyone else. 

“Two minutes,” he offered, cheekily.  “Is that what happened on your wedding night, and that’s why you’re so grumpy…?”  Arthur’s eyes widened but his smile was still in his eyes.

“I could have you executed for that, Merlin!”  Merlin bowed as he backed away, hands held wide.

“You’d have to catch me first, your royal tubbiness.  I thought the bride was supposed to let herself go after the wedding.  That’s very nice of you to lead by example for Gwen.”  Arthur was grinning widely then, and stepped forward in mock seriousness.

“Merlin!” 

“Do I take this as a dismissal, sire?” 

“I’ll dismiss your head from your neck!”  They stared at one another for a moment as Arthur began to laugh.  It was something they had not done in a long time, bartered with one another.  Everything had been too formal, with too many eyes.  Merlin realised he’d probably not have another chance at any stage soon given the king’s recent marriage to be so brutally honest with the blond warrior.

“Arthur?”  He put his hands behind his back as Arthur took another sip of water.

“Hmm?”  Merlin shook his head in wonder.

“I can’t tell you how proud I am of you.  You can generally either be a good man, or a good king.  You’re the only man I believe in enough to have faith that you can be both.”  Arthur stared at him for a long time before he nodded, once, his expression soft and warm. 

“Thank you, Merlin.  That means a lot.”  It hung there unspoken between them for a moment, two friends refusing to be anything less no matter the circumstances.  “Now.”  He smiled.  “Best not to keep Morgana waiting.  If you’ve promised to help her, you’d best be off to help her.”  Merlin bowed, serious then. 

“As you wish, sire.”  Arthur waved him away, and Merlin headed to the door. 

“Oh, and Merlin?”  He turned as the king smiled at him warmly.

“When we’re alone… Arthur is just fine.”  Merlin smiled brightly and nodded as he closed the door behind him, leaving the king to his thoughts. 

Outside, Gwaine was leaning against the wall, opposite the guards as he drank from a flask.  He offered it to Merlin, who thanked him but declined.

“Thanks.  For everything.”  Gwaine tucked the flask back behind his belt and grinned.

“She makes you happy, Merlin?”  The thin man laughed a deeply from the depths of his chest and nodded. 

“Gods, yes.  I can’t begin to tell you how much.”  Gwaine nodded, a wide grin splitting his beard. 

“About damned time, then.  Do you know how long she’s been bending my ear about you?”  Merlin shook his head in wonder and then hit Gwaine on the shoulder companionably. 

“Shut up, Gwaine.”  The knight tilted his head and touched a finger to his forehead in salute. 

“Only because I’m sure after last night, you already know you’re an idiot.”  Merlin laughed.

“Dangerously close to the truth there.”  Gwaine pushed himself off the wall and put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder.

“So get to it, then.”  Merlin nodded and returned the gesture for a moment before turning and heading towards the north wing. 

He moved through the corridors with the ease of long familiarity and nodded to the servants he knew and politely to the people he did not.  The numbers of the latter increased as he finally came upon the small meeting hall that Morgana had mentioned.  It was crowded with people, working class citizens, many of them dressed poorly but proudly.  He moved through the crowd until a soft hand touched his wrist and he turned around to her glorious eyes and didn’t bother to hide his smile.  Morgana smiled warmly at him, intimately running her thumb across the throbbing pulse in his wrist.  Merlin stared down at her lips and tried to think about anything but.  Morgana dragged her teeth across her bottom lip and Merlin blushed as his mind filled with images again, of her skin in the low firelight and of her lips against his ear. 

“W-who, um…  Who are they all?”  Morgana’s cheeks were darkly blushed and she looked around, her face softening as she smiled at the people around them. 

“They’re Camelot.  Artisans.  Guild members.  Ordinary people with ordinary problems that sometimes need the crown to solve, sometimes need an objective ear, and sometimes, just need someone to listen.  To know that we care, as Camelot.”  Merlin slowly turned around and nodded before shaking his head.

“I still don’t really understand.”  Morgana led him into the small chambers, and another chair was brought in by the fire for him as she sat in the first one, and an elderly woman with surprising vigour made her way to sit in front of Morgana’s table.  Another man came in as well, so young he seemed to be but a boy, but he stood uncertainly in front of them as Morgana smiled at Merlin. 

“It’s not that difficult an issue, Merlin.  These people need our help.”  Merlin nodded slowly, and then invited the young man forward. 

“Where would you like to start?

∞₸∞

Several hours later, Merlin was making coal sketching’s with the former headman for the blacksmiths guild. 

“So you put this…?” 

“Reservoir,” the old man supplied, his tone passionate and excited despite his age.  He’d been leaning closer and closer and getting more energetic as Merlin’s excitement enflamed his own. 

“Reservoir, right, so you put this against the back wall of the fireplace and that heats the water in the pot.  But where does the water come from?”  The man shrugged as Morgana thanked a young girl and ushered her outside.  Merlin was too caught up to realise as she ordered them lunch brought to the chamber.  She noticed that only the guard at the door and the young serving girl remained.  With Merlin’s help, Morgana had seen most of the people that she could, and helped.  She sat down as the old man smiled at Merlin knowingly and tapped his nose slyly.

“Anywhere it wants, boy.  That’s the beauty of it!  It can trickle down from the roof or you could draw it up with a series of pumps staggered sequentially like stepping stones within the walls!”  Merlin poured over the drawings, following them with bright eyes. 

“This is bloody brilliant.  Absolutely fantastic.  How soon can you start?”  His passion swept the old man up with a smile.

“Where and when?” 

“My tower, to start.  I’ll organise a basin for the roof, and you let me know when you’re able to get to work.  I’ll have hot water to boil bandages and make tinctures and potions, and that can show how useful it is if it can’t be explained.  Give me something workable I can show the king, and I promise you, the guild will be well rewarded.”  The old man held out his hand and Merlin shook it even as he went back to pouring over the drawings.  Morgana held the door for him and smiled warmly as she shut the door.  Merlin spread the designs out over the table a bit and looked up with boyish enthusiasm as she came closer to him. 

“This is so brilliant!” he exclaimed, and she laughed and leaned over, looking at the sketches.  Merlin quieted as she touched his shoulder.  His soft eyes closed on her and he stared, lost in her.  Morgana’s smile grew to a blush as she looked deeply into his eyes, dragging her teeth over her bottom lip enticingly, trying to keep her smile from growing too wide. 

“Merlin,” she breathed in admonishment.  “You’re staring.”  But his eyes didn’t stray over her, they simply adored her.  He took in every single aspect of her, and his soft smile turned her heart over.

“You’re really… “wow”… you know that?”  His soft words endeared him to her all over again and she smiled brightly, her eyes warm and loving.

“You’re so eloquent, Merlin.”  She laughed lowly at him.  He tilted his head up and nodded slowly. 

“Alright then,” he began; a challenge in the set of his chin.  “In Ealdor, they tell the stories of the Sun and the Rose.  That they were lovers once, cursed by a jealous witch to watch one another always, and love one another in every waking moment proving that to exist with love so true is to defy the darkest of sorcery.  The sun shines brightest only for the attention of the rose, who turns her face to his every flight until the night hides them from one another, whence they race to see each other again.” 

“But that doesn’t work so much in our case.  See, you are my sun AND my rose, Morgana.  You are the light that brightens my everything, nourishes my soul and my heart, and it is for you that I would shine brighter and race across the darkest hours of the night just to see you again in the morning.”  She stared at him in shock, and touched her lips as her eyes started to water. Merlin stared at her intensely and kept speaking, driving the words towards her relentlessly as her knees began to weaken.

“You see, Morgana, I woke up in a dream this morning, and I’m terrified that I’m going to wake up.  If I do, then maybe loving you will be enough to keep me through until the next dawn, when I’ll see you again.  But if it’s not a dream, and this is real…?  Then I’m hopelessly, powerlessly, endlessly going to love you for the rest of my life.”  Morgana kissed him then, grabbing hold of him and gripping him hard, fiercely, possessively, as if by doing so, she could claim him as hers and not be Merlin, or Morgana, but some powerful combination of both.  Her kiss was deep and passionate, fiercely strong in her claim, and his were loving and tender.  Morgana touched at his face and kissed his forehead, cradling him to her chest.  

“Merlin, is this what love is?  I didn’t think it would be like this.  What are you feeling, Merlin, tell me how you feel, right now?”  He kissed the pale skin of her chest, between the softness of her breasts yet over her heart. 

“Pain.  Want.  Crushing hatred of everything that keeps me from you.  Soaring happiness and you laughing in my head because I can’t think of anything else.  Shame that I want to keep you all to myself.  Guilt that I wouldn’t care if it were the truth and I stole you away and spent the rest of the day, the week, the year, just being with you.”  His voice grew husky then, and reverberated through her skin, cascading goose bumps as the whispered heats in his tone raced along her body as he moved his head, moving his lips over her skin towards her nipples, hidden behind the fabric that his teeth grazed over in agonizing attention to detail. 

“And desire.  I’ve never desired anyone as much as I do you.  Your hair, Morgana, it’s in everything I am like black silk with a life of its own, twisting and curling and flowing around me with its fragrance.  I want to drown in you, stare into your eyes and run my lips over every inch of you.  I’m in awe of you. I’m not sure I can stand it, how much I want you… I want to feel you against me and breathe your breath, hot from your mouth.  I don’t even know how to describe how much I want you, as much as I do.”  Morgana’s breath hitched in her throat as she ran her fingertips over his face and stared at him, opened mouthed and her nipples hard against the material of her dress as she pressed down against him into his body.

“You’re… doing okay…” she whispered brokenly as she stared at him.  Merlin ducked his eyes, breaking contact with her for a moment as if embarrassed and she realised that she was blushing too, and ready to lunge on him there in the sitting room.  A sudden crack came as the guard’s mailed fist knocking on the door broke the haze of heat between them.  The maid had returned with lunch. 

“Just a moment!” Morgana called, as Merlin moved his face back up to hers and touched at her lips with his.  His tantalizing softness and wonder tore at her and she folded into his arms, moaning into the gentle restraint of him and wanting him to unleash himself upon her in that moment.  He pulled back and she chased him, pulling him against her even as he blushed and his eyes flickered to the door.  Morgana pushed off of him in irritation and straightened her hair.  Merlin stood up and then looked down and sat back down again, crossing his legs and pulling one of the designs over the top of his lap with another blush.  Morgana’s breath caught in her smile as she made her way to the door and opened it.  A young girl came in with a tray, followed by another with a chilled decanter of water, who set it on the table, near the designs.  A third girl hovered near the door, but she wasn’t dressed in the traditional garb of the servants of Camelot.  She wore a rich red dress the colour of sun kissed roses, and her hair was dark and twisted into thin braids.  She held herself aloof, almost royal in her challenging stance, one leg showing through the scandalously high slit revealing flashes of a milky thigh.  Her pale eyes and thick, succulently lips pouted invitingly towards Merlin, who noticed her obvious attempts to gain his attention.  The two girls filed past her, their duties done for the moment, but this girl stayed.  Merlin stared at her, trying to place the feeling of familiarity about her.  She demurely looked him full in the face and when he locked eyes with her, he felt his spine fill with ice as a bloom of sensation arched across the bottom of his spine as he all but recognized the colour, from which he’d seen only one person in the past. 

“What’s your name?” he asked hollowly. The girl curtseyed with infinite grace as she stared at Merlin.  The heat and playfulness was gone in a heartbeat as Merlin stood up, discarded the coal sketch and stood in front of Morgana protectively. 

“Nimuen, my Lord Physician, Lady Morgana.”  Her voice was low and sultry for one so young, and she eyed Merlin boldly.  Merlin shook his head at her and stared.  “You may remember my mother, Lord Physician.  You had a great deal of history” 

“I’m not a Lord, Nimuen.”  His words lacked conviction as he sighed.  Nimueh’s daughter held her mother’s appeal, a dark seduction that seemed as easy as breathing to the young girl.  “You don’t need to address me like that.”  His nervousness riled something in Morgana and she stepped forward. 

“How can we help you, Nimuen?”  The young girl took a deep breath and Morgana arched an eyebrow as she shrugged prettily.

“Forgive me, but you are most certainly a Lord, even if not here in this place of steel and tamed stone.  You are a prince among my people, a king but waiting to take up his crown.”  Morgana looked back at Merlin, who was shaking his head in dread.

“Your people?” prompted Morgana.  The girl spread her robe wide and gamely dropped one shoulder of her dress, baring herself slightly to them both.  On the clean, white line of her shoulder lay a triskelion marking.  A druid brand.  She looked back over her shoulder, staring at Merlin and smiling seductively as dark fire lit Morgana’s eyes and her temper flared. 

“I’m a Druid, Emerys.  I am here to see you take your place amongst your true peers.”  Morgana crossed her arms so she wouldn’t hit the girl and hold’s Merlin’s hand.  Or vice versa.  Merlin sank back down in the seat by the fire he’d originally sat in the morning before.  “I’m here to make you a king.”


	3. Nimuen's Question and What Arthur Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nimuen's offer to Merlin of being a King gets a counteroffer.  
> Marriage fluff, Merlin and Morgana honeymoon period, and Merlin admits a closely held secret. 
> 
> Smut, Fluff and Arthur finds out. Enjoy!
> 
> Comments and Kudos always appreciated.

Merlin stayed very still as he watched Nimuen.  Her words rang in his ears, and he could feel Morgana stiffen beside him.  She’d taken an instant dislike to the young druid priestess, it seemed.  Merlin couldn’t help but feel pleased at that.  Something about the way she spoke to him irked him; she vexed him.  He couldn’t stop the scowl that came to his face as she watched him knowingly.

“Camelot already has a king.”  Nimuen bowed low, showing her cleavage.  Merlin began to get annoyed.  It seemed her every move was designed to encapsulate him, as if he were a slave to her offerings.  He tried to hold his disgust from his face.  She wasn’t half the woman that Morgana was.  She was throwing herself at him as if that were all it would take.  He gritted his teeth as she breathed deeply, but the scowl didn’t go away.

“The land owes fealty to Arthur, yes.”  She raised her eyes and looked at him through half lidded eyes, as though she were seducing him even in the midst of their speech.  Morgana drew in a sharp breath beside him, but he didn’t turn away.  He didn’t want her to see how angry he was.  “But I’m speaking of the people.  My people.  We have no land; we are of all Albion itself.  My people live with the land and we are beholden to it.  We belong to the land itself, not to any king.  Not until you.”  Morgana crossed her legs, and Merlin did look this time.  There was a little of her ankles showing out from her underskirt, and Merlin’s eyes slid down.  She glanced at him, amusement in her eyes as he wryly shrugged. 

“You’re talking treason, young one.”  Morgana’s stony tone brought Merlin back to the conversation with a start. 

“Is it?” countered Nimuen.  “Would it be treason to speak of Arthur’s kingdom in Orkney, or Amata, Caerleon?  Our kingdom exists as surely as any other, save that we have no land.  Those with magic, Lord Merlin, are a nation.  We are legion, across all markings on any map.  And there are those that would have us war.”  She finished her dire proclamation as she straightened, staring straight at Merlin intently with eyes that suddenly blazed with anger.  It was strange, he thought.  Even though her body language stated quite plainly that she was willing to seduce him, when she forgot herself for a moment, it seemed as if the impassioned young woman would much rather talk than seduce.  But was willing to do both.  She was a very adversarial emissary.  When the seduction ceased, the cause still came through.  She really believed.  But she still wanted to win at any cost.  He crossed his arms in front of himself, his scowl firmly back in place.  He refused to be manipulated.  He took a breath to dismiss her.

“Why would you make Merlin your king?”  Morgana’s curiosity came through, showing beyond anything else that she was the more politically minded of the two of them, a fact for which Merlin was quite grateful.

“He is foretold.  That he would join with the Maiden of Avalon, chosen of the Priestesses of the Old Religion.” 

“I’m not a druid.”  Nimuen smiled at that, and her eyes narrowed. 

“And neither is Arthur, yet for him, you would bemoan our lack of fealty. “  Merlin’s stance softened and he tilted his head as he conceded the point.

“Clever.”  Nimuen curtseyed low again.  Morgana eyed her up and down coldly.

“And that’s you then, this…  Maiden of Avalon.”  Nimuen eyed Merlin boldly, ignoring Morgana. 

“I have studied for years, my lord,” she breathed, demure and alluring coming back full force.  She used her lushness like a broad-axe or more aptly like a battering ram.  A smile came to Merlin’s face as he thought what Gwaine would have done in his place.  Emboldened by his smile, Nimuen shrugged prettily.  It reminded him of Morgana, though not nearly so seductive as when she had done it.  He gave another rueful smile and glanced at Morgana, imagining for a moment that she was trying to seduce him.  He blushed as she raised an eyebrow at him.  “I have taken to my studies more… energetically in some areas perhaps explained in private.” Morgana looked away as Merlin walked forwards to Nimuen.

“That’s enough.  I’m not interested in you being traded like cattle.  Forgive me, but I don’t want you.”  Morgana paused at his harsh bluntness.  It was cold and rude, very unlike him.  Something about the alluringly sexy young offering must have annoyed him.   Morgana couldn’t help the small smile and thrill that came to her.    

“But you have a valid point.  The druids lack… representation at court.  Would you be willing to meet with the king?”  Nimuen glanced between the two of them and then straightened, seeming to see them for the first time.  It was almost as if she cast aside one tactic for another.  She would have made an excellent politician or courtier, Morgana mused.   

“The Once and Future King himself?  Would he heed what I have to say?” 

“He would if you approached him appropriately.”  Merlin gestured to her low cut top and breathless features.  “Throwing yourself in as a bargaining chip isn’t exactly going to endear you.”  The young girl flushed, but there was rock hard steel to her face, too.    

“If you don’t use what you are, Emerys, it will be used against you.”  Morgana noted the steel and hurt in her tone.

“That has the resounding peal of history to it.”  Nimuen put a hand on her chest and looked Morgana fully in the face. 

“I am…   The Triple Goddess has blessed me with many gifts that men find appealing.  Not all are as quick to discard as you may be, Emerys,” she admitted, looked back to Merlin.  “I was led to believe that you were alone here at court and that, because you’re a man….”  There was a consolatory tone to her voice, apologetic.   

“For many years, that was true.” 

“But not now,” she clarified.  “You’re not so easily taken anymore?”

“No.”  Morgana’s steel matched Nimuen’s earlier determination, and Merlin felt her hand slip into his.  “Not anymore.” She looked almost guiltily at Merlin, who squeezed her hand and wrapped his fingers within hers. 

Taking in the scene with almost a sigh of relief, Nimuen stepped back, suddenly looking very much like the young girl she was.  It was like a veil drawn back and she breathed deeply, seeming to shed the cloak of her persona.

“My apologies.”  She curtseyed awkwardly and was silent for a moment. Merlin narrowed his eyes as he considered her proposal.  Morgana squeezed his hand. 

“If you had a sympathetic voice within Camelot, close to the king, what would you do?”

“Seek treaty,” she answered immediately.  “Do my best to ensure through whatever means that the druids are left alone.  We are no threat to Camelot.  We seek no war.  There are those amongst us who are willing to defend our right to breathe, but none of the People truly seek war.”  Merlin pursed his lips and shared a glance with Morgana.  When their eyes met, she noted the excited gleam to his blue eyes and nodded, once.  She trusted him. 

“Treating would require terms.”  Nimuen’s pretty face sneered in disgust. 

“Subjugation.”  Merlin shook his head.   

“I’m sure once you’ve met the king that you’ll see how ludicrous that is.  His servants might agree with you, but for the most part, he’s not really the subjugation type…”  Nimuen narrowed her eyes slowly. 

“Then…?”

“Responsibility.  FAIR responsibility,” he clarified.  Nimuen raised her eyebrow at him and her glance moved towards Morgana, who watched her with cold eyes.

“You’d have to deal with dissidents on your own, to an agreed satisfaction by both Camelot and the Druid… nation?”  She nodded at his supposition and a small smile came and went on her face.

“Agreed.  A fair enough requirement.  Sanctuary though?”  Merlin scratched his chin, staring at her for a long time.  Morgana felt her cheeks beginning to heat up as he weighed her with his eyes.  It was only her imagination, she knew, because Merlin wasn’t one to ogle many women.  Even if she could get his attention with a single crossing of her legs. 

“Would be granted as per the King’s judgement, mostly to ensure that those without pre-existing crimes against them being instantly expunged only to recommit them at first opportunity.”  Nimuen straightened, her eyes flashing in anger. 

“Crimes established in defence against blind hatred are not without undue circumstance.”  Merlin pursed his lips and then nodded reasonably.

“Fair enough,” he conceded simply.  Nimuen’s face revealed her consternation.  “It’s a fair point.  And treaty requires terms from both parties.  I understand and the king does also that a cessation of hostilities would far more affect the Knights and common people of Camelot than the druid people.”  Nimuen’s mouth shut with a snap and she nodded gratefully even as she shyly smiled towards Merlin.  He grunted and began to pace.  Morgana noted that Nimuen’s shift into shy vulnerability had brought out a softly disarming beauty to her face.  She really was quite pretty.  Merlin crossed in front of her pensively and put his hands behind his back.  There was no trace of it in his tone, but his knuckles were white behind him.

“Very well.  Taking into account the crimes committed by those who chafed under Uther’s Law, if Arthur agrees to a full general pardon under a proclamation of good faith, all crimes against those with magic will be expunged.  But, given the magnitude of such a proclamation, it relies on the druids themselves to cease any hostilities whatsoever.  You must be accountable from therein for the crimes committed against Camelot.  Any reoccurrence of hostilities will be met with severe prejudice.  The crown cannot be expected to offer forgiveness without the guarantee of effective deterrence against future resurgence of hostilities.”  Nimuen nodded, once, her eyes bright and excitement flushing her features.

“Agreed,” she blurted.  She recovered herself and curtseyed, keeping her eyes low.  “Generous terms, given the history between the druids and the people of Camelot.  Will the King agree to them?”  It hung there for a moment as Merlin stared at Morgana until she nodded to him slightly.

“If you offer something in return.”  Nimuen gestured for him to go on, curious at the intensity of his tone.  Merlin gathered his thoughts for a moment until he sat down, leaning forwards on the edge of the seat.

“Magic… is powerful.  It blurs the lines between the possible and the impossible.  Many don’t understand that… many more are afraid because they can’t do it.  If Camelot offers sanctuary for those with Magic, then it falls to reason that should the people of Camelot need them, that the druids must answer the call.”  Nimuen nodded again but slowed, and considered.  Her eyes narrowed for a moment.

“Define what you mean by “need them?”  That sounds like subjugation again…”  Merlin shook his head, his face grim.  “You mean a call to arms?”  He wordlessly watched her, gauging her reaction.  Nimuen shook her head slowly, then more decisively.

“We aren’t skilled at war.  As a people.  Violence abhors us; we are as a general rule inept at destruction.”  She looked downcast and Merlin held up a hand, stopping her from speaking further.

“But you ARE healers.  And as you said, some of you are willing to battle.”  The young priestess tilted her head to the side.

“True.  On both counts.  But you’re telling me you’d bring healers to war?”  Merlin shrugged as if it were of no consequence.  Beside him, just on the edge of his vision, Morgana nodded encouragingly.

“Yes.  Why would we not?  Not only will healers amongst the warriors help keep the soldiers alive, in addition, I know of no better way to engender goodwill than to have someone save your life.  Soldiers tend to be practical creatures, if simple in many regards.  They’ll understand the benefits of having magical healers there.  And what’s more, any assistance given by those with magic will show that it’s uh… um… a tool.  No, a facet of someone’s skill set.  That to know the person is to know the magic.”  Nimuen’s eyes shone at him for a moment, and Morgana knew how she felt.  Merlin’s passion and feeling enflamed her, gave her hope and made her believe in the world that he believed in.  She couldn’t help the fiercely proud feeling that raced through her. 

“So we contribute to the efforts of war by healing… it is a strange thing that you suggest.  Not untenable… just strange.”  Merlin shrugged, his eyes not leaving her. 

“You said there were those willing to fight?”

“Some,” she begrudged.

“Send them to us.  Is there a leader amongst them?”  Morgana leaned forwards and touched him lightly on the arm.  Merlin looked at her, the excitement in his eyes fading for an instant.  Nimuen looked between them. 

“His name is Mordred.  He’s young, but capable.  Very capable.  He’s… a friend.”  Morgana smiled softly at Merlin, and he nodded, understanding her unspoken urge for him to take care. 

“Do you trust him?”  Uncharacteristically, Nimuen snorted in amusement. 

“With everyone and everything except my sister,” she admitted wryly.  “But that being said, I’d no more trust her alone with HIM.  They’re much of young and in love.”  Morgana waved that aside and Nimuen’s face grew serious. 

“Would he be willing to meet with Arthur?”  Nimuen nodded.

“If he was given the king’s word that no harm would come to him.”  Merlin put his hand over his heart. 

“He has mine.”  He leant forwards in a half bow.

“And mine,” added Morgana.  Nimuen looked between the two of them, clearly wanting to believe.  The problem was it seemed too good to be true.  Morgana nodded, seeing what Merlin didn’t.

“You’ve come to Camelot for your People.  By and large, magic is still outlawed here.  You’ve taken a great risk.  Let us return with you to a camp of your choosing, alone, just the two of us.  We’ll meet with this Mordred and with your elders.  They will see that we are true, and what we can accomplish.  Hopefully after that, Mordred will consent to accompany us and meet with Arthur.”  Nimuen’s caution fled her and she nodded; her mouth parting in excitement.  Her face grew flushed and she licked her lips. 

“I’m staying at the Lion Inn, you can find me there.”  Merlin nodded, his head tilting towards Morgana beside him. 

“We’ll find you.”  She stood up, and turned to leave but hesitated.  She turned back to Merlin and under Morgana’s cold eyes drew her cloak modestly about her. 

“When I came here, I thought… I’m glad I was wrong.  Please forgive me.”  She curtseyed deeply to them both and left quietly.  Merlin sighed deeply and slumped back into the chair. 

“Peace with the druids.  AND a treaty ensuring their wartime aid.  Am I mad?  I’m sorry, thank you for seeing where I was blundering.  I could have bolloxed it up completely if you hadn’t of been there.”  Morgana smiled at him softly, biting her lip.  His face grew flushed as he stared. 

“You’re not mad.  You’re brilliant.”  He smiled at her in thanks, until he stood up and began to pace.  Morgana watched him for a moment, before she began to undo the laces on her dress front.

“God I hope I know what we’re doing.  What we’ve done.  Do you think Arthur… of course he will.  But what about the people?  Arthur can’t afford to lose the people.  He…”  Merlin trailed off as Morgana stood up and stopped his pacing. She rose on her toes and kissed him in maddening lightness for a moment.  She pushed him back with their eyes still closed and guided him into the chair he’d been sitting on.  She followed him down with her lips, kissing at his moaning mouth as she sat on top of him, pushing his legs together between her thighs.  Merlin swallowed and grinned shakily.

“Um… Uh…mmm.”  Morgana slid her hands up, reaching for him and holding him in front of her while she kissed him deeper and more involved, feeling his cheekbones as she held him.  He twisted under her, pushing up into her arms, but she leaned back, pulling her hair over to one side of her neck so he could nuzzle into her and raking her teeth over his neck possessively when he did so.  Merlin’s hands stilled on her back as he shivered, her breath hot in his mouth as she surged forwards to kiss him.  Morgana held his head against her and pushed up, catching Merlin’s mouth on the loose laces, urging him against her breasts.  The young warlock eagerly obliged and Morgana stared at him as his lips worshipped her.

“Do you think she’s pretty?”  Merlin gave an affirmative sound as his hands travelled up her back and into her hair.  His mouth left her chest as he moved up to kiss her again. 

“I think you’re more than pretty.”  Morgana moaned quietly as his hands pulled her against him. 

“So is that a yes?”  Merlin frowned as he pulled back; his eyes bright and lustful even as he’s features grew confused.

“I… what?”  Morgana smiled and touched his lips with her fingertips, even as she breathed hotly on them.  Merlin opened his mouth, breathing her in despite his still confused features.

“Do,” she whispered breathily, dragging the words out.  “You…  think… she’s…pret-ty?”  Her singsong voice was punctuated with little bites of his lower lip until her tongue flicked out and caressed it.  Merlin controlled himself with a great deal of effort and caught her eyes with his. 

“Do I think… WHO is pretty?” he clarified.  Morgana gave what appeared to be an apathetic shrug, which happened as it was to lose the shoulders of her dress down further, barely restraining her nipples from sight.  Merlin closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to focus as her breasts pushed against him. 

“Nimuen.”  The name completely threw him, and Morgana felt herself thrilling.  He looked around as if she was still in the room.  Morgana would never have thought that such confusion would be so endearing.  He wasn’t even thinking about the lush young priestess. 

“What are we talking about her for?  Did I miss something again?  And how is that my fault?  You’re sitting here, looking…  I mean, how am I supposed to think straight?  You’re breathtaking.  Mind blowing.”  He stared at her in consternation and Morgana realised that deep down, he was going to get under her skin and in her heart far deeper than she would have ever liked to admit.  The fire popped and Morgana pursed her lips as she moved her hands to either side of his neck, staring into his eyes. 

“You know, Merlin, sometimes I can’t tell if you’re exceedingly clever or adorably clueless…”  She trailed off as she lowered her head again, teasing a kiss to him and pulling back several times.  Merlin actually growled at her, his hands gripping her hips roughly as she pushed against him.  The wild fire in his eyes sparked her own as he steadied himself with a breath.

“I’m whatever gets me kissed again,” he ground out meaningfully.  Morgana hummed in consideration.

“Well that would be either, or neither, because it’s not about what you want.  It’s what I want, and luckily for you, I want to kiss you again…”  Merlin’s grin spread boyishly wide. 

“You wish, my Lady Morgana…”  She cut him off with lowered lips as she kissed him, sucking at his lips and flicking her tongue up under his top lip, deepening the kiss until he was dragging his fingers through her hair and moaning against her.  His hands cupped her breasts and Morgana leaned back.  Merlin forlornly arched after her with such longing on his face that she almost relented, but instead smoothed the front of her dress and deftly retied the lace, though quickly and not as tightly as before. 

“I think…” she breathed as she turned and looked at him over her shoulder.  Merlin’s eyes were riveted to her rear, which she wriggled invitingly at him. 

“Hmmm?”  His eyes didn’t move but his head shook from side to side in bewilderment.

“I think…  I’m going to take my lunch in my chambers.”  Merlin nodded for a moment as though mesmerised until her words sunk in. 

“Hey?  You what then?”  His face paled in confusion again and she decided she enjoyed how adorable he looked.  But his smouldering eyes held nothing adorable.  In the heat from his eyes, she felt ravished.  Morgana took a breath and steadied herself, smoothing the front of her dress and cleaning up her hair. 

“In my chambers.  Lunch.  Give it ten minutes or so and perhaps… join me?”  Comprehension lit his features before she smirked at him and the light left his eyes.  Merlin’s blue eyes darkened with heat like dragon fire as he started to get up out of the chair even as Morgana fled the lust that bloomed in him.  She flicked a last glance to him as she opened and shut the chamber door and Merlin felt his heart pounding frantically in his chest.  The young warlock readjusted his suddenly uncomfortably tight pants and raked a hand threw his hair distractedly.  There was no time marked candle but Merlin knew the time was dragging interminably.  He looked at the two plates, filled with cold roasted mutton slices sprinkled with crushed salt, fresh grapes, cheese and bread.  His hunger was there like a banked fire, but it had nothing to do with food.  It seemed so strange that he’d ever thought of having any life outside of beside Morgana.  There was lust there, of course, he mused.  There was chemistry between them like an inferno, an unbelievable heat that drove him to distraction.  It was almost too much to bear.  He wanted her with a power that scared him.  He felt wild and animal, out of control with how hotly he wanted her.  Merlin cleared his throat and drained the glass of water that sat untouched on the table beside him.  He picked the plates up and then put them down again.  It had barely been a minute.  He was too far away from her.  He could feel the ache of her absence in his chest.  He couldn’t think straight.  Therein lie the issue, Merlin admitted to himself.  He didn’t just want Morgana.  He ached for her.  Not for her passion, but for her presence.  He didn’t just want her body against him, he wanted everything of her; need was stronger than lust or want could ever be.  He needed her like he always had done.  He just didn’t want to admit how very deeply he was in love with her.  It was time he faced it.  Merlin picked up the plates again and opened the door, giving one of the plates to the guards standing by. 

“I’m not really hungry.  The Lady Morgana left hers, did you see which way she went?”  The guard on the right of the door ducked his head in deference. 

“She returned to her chambers, Merlin.  Want me to take it up to her?”  The physician shook his head with a shrug. 

“Nah, it’s fine, I’m heading back that way anyway.”  He hoisted the satchel with the blacksmith’s reservoir designs over his shoulder and balanced the plate in his other hand.  He carried the plate up to her door, nodding to the guardsmen on the way as they made their rounds.  Morgana opened the door in a silken night gown of deepest green that clung to her body with breathtaking simplicity.  Merlin stared at her as she jerked her head towards the room and looked back past him to the momentarily empty corridor.  He didn’t move until she stared him.  Her smile broadened pleasingly as she pulled him into the room and locked the door behind him with the sliding bolt she’d had installed.  Morgana turned girlishly and held her arms out wide, spinning around with a dancer’s grace and eyeing him off with that lusty smirk.  Her eyes blazed carnally at him. 

“So you like my choice of attire, Merlin?”  His mouth worked as his eyes soaked her in. 

“Uh…”  He continued to stare, his eyes glued to her.  Morgana took the plate from him and set it beside the bed hurriedly.  She came back and began to take his clothes off him.  Merlin numbly mumbled and Morgana couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. 

“N-n..You…”  Morgana pulled his face down to hers and kissed him succulently. 

“Save your words of wisdom, Merlin.  Give yourself a few moments to think.  Or not…”  She laughed softly at him and kissed him again, gathering his full attention to her lips. 

“Uhm…”  Morgana kissed him again with her smiling lips. 

“So eloquent, Merlin…  I get the idea, sweetmeats…  you like it…”  Morgana turned him around in her arms and pulled his shirt off, fingernails sliding over his skin and her breath on his naked back giving him goose bumps as her hot panting spread lines of heat across him.  He was still stunned as her hands moved over him, pushing him back towards her bed and reaching for his mouth. 

“Are you going to kiss me, Merlin?” she demanded breathlessly.  “I really want you to kiss me, Merlin.” 

He dropped the satchel to the floor and then he was picking her up, pulling her against him in deep need.  His left hand snaked around her neck and raked through her hair, pulling her towards him even as his right dropped to cup her rear in the dress, pulling the hem up and gripping her silken hot thigh with possessive carnality.  He cupped her leg and lifted, pressing her against him and feeling her gasp at his passion.  The hand in her hair gripped hard, wrapping around her strands and pulling her towards him as though he couldn’t get her closer.  His words left him but his need arose so strongly for her that he grabbed her roughly and dragged his open mouth across her neck.  Morgana clung to him with a gasp and he pushed them down onto the bed.  Her legs wrapped around him and Merlin urgently ripped his shirt off his shoulders and Morgana breathed in deeply, staring at him as his scent clung to her tongue and wetted lips.  Merlin discarded the shirt and crashed back down onto her, his open mouth panting for hers.  Morgana moaned into his smiling lips and her hands pulled hard at his hair as the need for him erupted in her.  Losing control, Morgana’s shaking hands pulled at the drawstring of his pants and he lifted his hips enough to get the bunched material out from under him.  Morgana pushed her hips off the bed and felt him released from the pants as he hit her inner thigh.  Merlin grunted in frustration through gritted teeth and she leaned back into the pillows, sliding a hand down her body and wrapping it around him.  Merlin’s hips jerked off the bed in her grasp and Morgana’s green eyes matched the dark hunger in his.  Merlin shuddered in her grip as she moved her thumb over him, rubbing him against her until Merlin was clenching his stomach beneath her clawing fingertips, his muscles dancing underneath her nails.  She gave him a sultry smile as she squeezed, and Merlin’s hands gripped her writhing hips as he pinned her before him, driving upwards and inside her with a low animalistic moan. 

Morgana jumped, her mouth falling open as she felt him filling her as she slid further down onto him.  Merlin’s body was tensed beneath her and they held the pose for a moment until she began to move.  Merlin shook his head urgently and she slowed, tantalizingly squeezing him inside her.  Merlin’s mouth was open, panting as he stared up at her.  Morgana’s hands roamed her body as he sat up, moving within her and making her moan as she realised that he was losing control not because of how she was making him feel, but because it was HER that was making him feel.  Merlin pulled her closer to him, kissing her and feeling her softness press against his lanky frame as her knees lifted up and her legs wrapped around his waist.  Small, wordless moans of breath puffed into his mouth as he tried to move under her but she was too much for him.  Morgana’s skin filled his senses with its softness and warmth and her hair destroyed him with its black essence.

“Stop…” he moaned.  His voice shuddered as he shook underneath her thrusting hips.  “H- have to stop…”

“No, Merlin,” she breathed, her hands in his hair as she tilted his face up towards hers and panted into his mouth.  “I want this.  I like how you want me.  I love how you want me…”  Merlin’s eyes caught hers as his mouth opened wider, showing gritted teeth in his efforts to hold back his climax.  Morgana’s hot eyes watched him struggle futilely against his want for her.   

“Can’t… hold on.”  She smiled and rocked down hard on him, tossing her hair back over her shoulder and pressing her breasts against his chest as she pushed him back.

“I know, Merlin.  Don’t...”  She pushed him down onto the bed and began to ride him in earnest, feeling him deep inside her and her nails across his belly as Merlin gasped and tensed.  He throbbed deeply inside of her and then his mouth opened and he was filling her, his eyes wide and staring at her as he came, hard, roaring heat against her body and deep within her.  Morgana shuddered as she felt him tensing, giving a low moan to drive him over the edge as she whipped her hair around again.  Merlin whimpered and she cooed into his mouth, kissing him softly as the sweat beaded on his lip and dampened her hair.  Merlin gasped and collapsed back into the sheets.  Morgana leaned down and arched her spine up, drawing him out of her and snuggling in beside him.  Merlin’s breath was hot in his throat as his heart raced under her fingers.

“Wow.”  Morgana smiled against him. 

“Oh, so you can speak now?”  She felt his lips press against her forehead. 

“U-huh-nuh…  No?”  She laughed lowly and traced a fingertip over his lips.  Merlin’s arm snaked around her and pulled her closer, pushing her head down to his shoulder, nestled in the crook of his arm.  His hand spread over her hair and began to massage her scalp.  His pressure was somehow perfect and Morgana’s eyes rolled back into her head in pleasure and she closed them as she snuggled in closer. 

“I’m sorry.”

“About what?”  She didn’t open her eyes, just enjoyed the feelings rolling about her as the sensations of their lovemaking merged with the simple perfection of Merlin’s fingers in her hair and on her scalp.

“I’m a selfish lover.”  Morgana smiled with her eyes closed as he kissed her forehead again tenderly and gave him a cheeky smile that was all light and no heat.  She took his breath away with that smile. 

“Yeah, I was going to say, you should really work on that…”  Merlin gently nudged her and she opened one eye at him, catlike in her inquisition.

“I’m serious,” he said, his eyes gentle and meaningful as he stared at her.  Morgana tucked her chin into her fist as she stared up into his eyes. 

“Okay.  I can see that.  What are you talking about?”  Merlin blushed.  He vaguely gestured down to himself. 

“You didn’t…  you know…”  She smiled.

“It’s not always about that, Merlin.”  He shrugged and looked away, almost shame faced.

“I guess I’m not very experienced.  Like, at all…”  Her eyes narrowed and she tilted her head to the side. 

“I don’t think I like where this could be going.  I’m supposed to be experienced on account of I’m such a sl…”

“What?”  His narrowed eyes and incredulity assuaged her flare of anger.  “No, Morgana, that’s not what I meant at all.  I mean…  Am I bad?  Or not very good?”  Morgana relaxed against him.  She kissed his ribs and propped her head up as she leaned over his body, enjoying the feel of him in her bed. 

“You’re adorable, you know that?  Like I said, it’s not always about getting to the… end.”  Her eyes grew naughty and Merlin stirred under her as his spine grew suddenly hot.  “And besides, Lord Physician, if memory serves, you made sure I was in front by a couple.  I’m just trying to draw us even.”  They shared a smile then.  Morgana chose her next words solemnly.  “I really… enjoy you.  I love how you make me feel.  And I really love that I affect you so much.  You make me feel… powerful, I guess.”  Merlin idly ran his fingers through her hair as it lay strewn over his chest. 

“You’re the king’s sister, Morgana.  There are very, very few people as powerful as you are.  In multiple regards,” he said, catching her eyes.  Morgana tilted her head and reached up, kissing him.  The kiss demanded more time as Merlin opened his mouth to her, enjoying her beyond words.  When they finally broke, she tapped his lips quickly. 

“But none of them really know me.  None of them know I have magic.” She said, making her point.  Merlin shrugged as if it was of little importance.

“You could tell them.”  He made it sound so easy that she smiled.

“You didn’t.”  He ducked his head in a short bow to her, somehow.  It was a decent effort given that he was lying on his back. Morgana’s hand strayed down to lightly draw designs on his chest.  His fingers stayed in her hair, moving slowly and relaxing her further.  She stifled at smile as she thought about his magic hands. 

“No, I didn’t.  But you’re the only one I ever needed to tell.  It was nothing of anyone else’s business.  That knowledge was dangerous, could have hurt a lot of people.  They would have lied for me, and gotten hurt because of it.  I couldn’t do that to anyone.  Least of all you.”  She wriggled a little bit, pleased at his admission even as she frowned. 

“There’s a question.  Why didn’t you?  You could have told me years ago.”  He nodded to himself.

“Because I was in love with you.”  Morgana smiled in delight and Merlin followed suit as she kissed him. 

“Since when?” she demanded, her smile still wide.  Merlin gave a low laugh and went back to playing with her hair, pulling her up closer to him in his arms.  Morgana laid her head down on his chest and sighed happily. 

“Since I walked into Camelot and saw you that night.”  Eyes closed, Morgana frowned as she thought back. 

“All those years ago… Look at all the time we’ve lost…”  He smiled then and kissed her on the top of her head.  His free hand moved her hair out of the way and he snagged her hand in his, bringing her fingers up to his lips and kissing them softly. 

“Always.  I didn’t know I was saving myself for you until you showed me I was.  And you were worth the wait, Morgana. Believe me.” 

“Saving…?”  She trailed off questioningly until her eyes widened as she looked at him. 

“You were…  I was your first?”  He shrugged, the smile still on his face. 

“Is that bad?”  She shook her head and laid back down on his chest, before answering.

“No, of course not…  I mean, I just…  normally if you save yourself for someone, it’s…  it should be special.?”  He shrugged again, but a wary light had seeped into his eyes. 

“It was.”  She shamefully looked away from his reassurance.

“I was drunk.”  His fingers stilled in her hair and Morgana kissed him passionately, urgently wanting him to know that she hadn’t meant how it had sounded, as if she dismissed it as nothing. 

“I’m-muhm…  I’m sorry, Merlin.  If I’d…  I mean, if I’d known, I would have…  That is, I wouldn’t have been so…”  She trailed off wordlessly as he smiled down at her, tilting her head up in his hands and smiling gently down to her.  Morgana felt everything about her soften then, in his loving vision. 

“So special?” he offered.  Morgana sat up in the bed, holding the sheet to her body. 

“That’s a kindness, Merlin.  I know why I did it, I just…  You were never going to…“  He cut her off with a shake of his head. 

“I know.  I never thought I’d ever be with someone as incredible as you, Morgana.”  She winced, feeling the warmth from his statement bloom across her, but deep in her chest, she worried that afterwards it wouldn’t be so much of a warm memory. 

“I feel like I’ve sullied it.  By being drunk.”  He nodded once and considered that.

“Did you know what you were doing?”

“Of course.”

“So did I.”  He smiled at her and reached up, touching her face.  Morgana leaned into his callused palm. 

“But it was your first time, Merlin, and…”  Merlin pushed himself upwards in the bed, coming close to her and laying his lips on her shoulders.  Coquettishly alluring, she tilted her head and her lips parted as she moved towards him.  Merlin kissed her quickly, and then lingered on her shoulder with his lips.  Morgana lifted her arms out of the sheets and wrapped herself around him.  Skin to skin, she could feel the heat radiating from him.    

“From what the knights tell me, I think everyone’s first time is supposed to be like a fisherman’s tale.  You don’t mention the mistakes, the awkwardness, and the fumbles; you just talk about how amazing the catch was.”  She smiled as she came in closer to kiss him again. 

“That’s…  HORRIBLE, Merlin.  And too accurate.”  Merlin grinned but there was a strong sense of honesty behind it.  He looked away, not meeting her eyes as if he didn’t want to embarrass her. 

“I’m lucky, Morgana.  I got… you.  If it had only of been for a night, just that one night, it was still amazing to me.  You might not ever know how much you mean to me.  I just hope that it makes sense.”  Morgana could feel the explosion of happiness and light inside her when he admitted that.  He was just everything she’d ever hoped for.  It was almost too much.  She felt giddy. 

“It’s the day AFTER, Merlin.  So how do you feel now?”  The corner of his lip quirked up, and she kissed him.

“Almost tired.”  Smirking, she pushed him back down into the bed, but his hands didn’t let go, and she moved with him. 

“You had a late night,” she offered in sultry tones. 

“And morning,” he agreed.  She quirked an eyebrow at him and smiled, gently biting her bottom lip as her grin spread wider. 

“An afternoon nap then?”  Happiness flushed his features for a moment until he looked around.

“We can’t,” he gestured regretfully.  Morgana sniffed primly.

“Why not?”

“Because we’re… as in both of us… are in your chambers.”  Morgana smugly nodded. 

“Exactly,” she said victoriously.  “National Holiday, remember?” 

“We can’t stay in bed all day,” he admonished her.  Morgana sighed winsomely. 

“God that would be amazing.” 

“Morgana,” he warned and she laughed at his embarrassment. 

“Just for an hour or so then.”  He rolled his eyes and her expression changed guardedly for a moment.  “Unless you want to go?”  Merlin shrewdly pulled her tighter into his arms.

“I don’t want to go anywhere at all.”  He kissed her very seriously, his hands rough on her neck and cheek as he took her lips with passion.  Morgana opened her mouth and took him with the same heat.  Merlin arched against her, twisting around to cup her jaw and bring him closer to his searching mouth.  His lips trailed down her jawline and across her throat as he moved on top of her, trailing fire across her as she leaned back into the sheets and arching her body into his touch. 

Merlin moved down to her nipples and her hands gripped his hair as he moved from one to the other, touching around her dark flesh with the tip of his tongue and flicking them into hardness.  Raking his teeth over her, Morgana pushed into his mouth and breathed deeply, shuddering as her legs spread wide to welcome him, but Merlin’s thin fingered hands showed their strength as he rolled her over, biting into the arch of her rump and running his hands up and down her upper thighs.  Morgana pushed back against him and his hands ran the length of her legs as he raked his mouth hotly over the base of her spine, pushing against her body with his and pressing himself up against her heat and feeling her wet need.  Morgana arched up against his body and spread slightly, feeling him slide inside of her with a gasp.  Merlin’s body lay down on top of hers and his hands ran up over her shoulders as he pushed deeper inside of her.  Morgana moaned lowly and tilted her head up into his hands.  He moved her hair to the side with one hand, grabbing almost too hard in his intensity and moaning a deep groan into her ear.  Morgana moved her head back against his shoulder and his mouth opened on the side of her neck, his hand pulling her throat back down as leverage as he pushed into her again.  Morgana moaned and moved her hands behind her head, pulling him up against her.  His hands seemed everywhere as his need grew harder against her, touching her throat, pulling at her hair and reaching under her to hold her breasts hard against her.  It was a base need for her, deeply within his lust for her that drove her over the edge.  He was pressing against her, dominating her body and letting his need overrule his nerves.  Morgana thrust back and flicked her hair back away from her as she looked back at him.  Merlin’s face was straining, but he was holding back for her sake.  Morgana locked eyes with him and he shuddered against her, holding back with as much as he could until his hands dropped to her hips and he began to arch back, changing the angle of his thrust and setting of another wave of pleasure that somehow coalesced with the first in a burst of light and pressure within her.  Morgana clenched her teeth and rode the wave within her as he pushed deep within her again and again, until she felt the wet splash of her climax against her inner thighs and Merlin’s control lost its battle with his pleasure and he began to thrust harder.  Morgana felt him seep inside of her again, less this time but no less intense for him it seemed.  Warm light filled her as he collapsed against her back again and she pulled his arms up around her.  She laughed and kissed his hands as he hugged her tightly. 

“Hmmm.  We should have done this years ago,” she sighed regretfully.  Merlin kissed the back of her neck.    

“You’re probably right.  You usually are.”  Morgana smiled as his breath tickled her ear.  “But what happens now?”  Morgana took a breath and tried to clear her head.  Merlin’s nakedness was tantalizingly close but she was already wrapped in him, so it wasn’t unbearable for the moment.    

“Tonight, we’ll talk to Arthur about Nimuen.  Tomorrow, hopefully, we’ll go to her and go and see the druids.”  Merlin squeezed her lightly in his arms. 

“I meant with us.”  She stilled at his words and thought seriously to herself.  That was the question, wasn’t it?  She knew what she wanted.  Merlin was always a mystery though.  He could as easily move on as propose.  Her eyes widened.  She hadn’t meant to think of it like that.  It was just post intimacy bliss, she tried to convince herself.   

“What do you want to happen?” she asked with deceptive nonchalance.    Merlin was silent for a long time, so long that she grew very still in his arms, waiting.  If he was just going to walk away, she’d never seek his arms again, she decided.  It was the only way to get over him.  The ache in her chest confused and tormented her.  Merlin breathed in, and Morgana couldn’t help the dark doubt that caught at her throat.  He pushed himself up and moved over her, caging her in his arms and staring down at her. 

“Realistically, this can’t amount to anything.  You’re a Lady, the Princess of Camelot…  I’m just… me.  Just a servant.”  Morgana’s mouth opened as she stared up at him, and he kissed her then, long and gentle, suckling at her and worshipping her mouth with his.  He closed his eyes after a moment and licked his lips, tasting her on them. 

“But HONESTLY…  I’m yours for as long as you want me.”  He said it with the intensity of a solemn vow, and Morgana felt her breath catching. 

“That’s a vow,” she warned, her hands sliding up his ribs and holding him above her.  Images dashed through her mind of his thrusting heat, but she wouldn’t let them take hold this time.  “Don’t make vows…  promises… that you don’t intend to keep.”  He caught her eyes in his and stared at her. 

“For as long as you want me, Morgana.”  Stupid tears that she’d never thought she’d cry came and went in an instant and then Merlin’s arms were around her.  She breathed out a sigh of happiness and cleared her throat, surreptitiously wiping at her eyes.

“There, was that so hard?  If you’d only bloody well said that to me 5 years ago, we’d be married by now.”  Merlin’s eyes widened comically. 

“One night and you already want to marry me?  I must be dreaming…”  His eyes narrowed as he looked at her deeply and saw all that unopened hurt.  His arms held her protectively and she smiled that breathtaking smile at him. 

“What do you think of Ambrosias for a boy?”  He grinned at her sidelong and shrugged teasingly. 

“Sounds like a dog’s name.”  She lightly slapped his chest.  Her hand stayed splayed across the skin, and her head moved oddly to the side, fixing him suddenly with hot eyes. 

“Woof,” she said lowly, slowing her lips and overstretching her mouth towards him seductively.  Merlin’s eyes grew very serious as he looked at her even as she playfully smirked at him. 

“Let’s wait until tomorrow, shall we?  See if you still want to marry me then.”  She shrugged, feeling her breasts press against his chest and enjoying the flush across his face as Merlin noticed it too. 

“Okay, but you can only use that excuse for so long.”  Her tone was teasing, but Merlin’s eyes had that serious look in them again.

“You really want to marry me?  Me?”  Morgana nodded. 

“Is there something wrong with that?”  Merlin looked flustered and Morgana smiled to herself. 

“Just…  rushing it a bit, aren’t we?  We’ve been together for what…  how many hours?”  Morgana settled back down against him. 

“Years, Merlin,” she corrected.  “We’ve been together for years.  You just didn’t figure it out.  Everyone else knew.”  Merlin stiffly cleared his throat at the thought of being laughed at by his friends, waiting all this time.  Gwaine especially, he thought. 

“I’m not like everyone else.”  Morgana nodded and turned in his arms again, putting a fingertip on his chest and staring straight in his eyes.

“I know,” she said softly.  “I know…  Just… now know that I’m not getting any younger.”  Steel came into her tone and she tapped his chest imperiously at every following point.  “I WILL marry you.  We WILL have children.  This is non-negotiable.  You’re mine.  Deal with it.”  His look was far too perceptive for her, and Morgana closed her mouth and put her head back down onto his chest.

“Okay,” he mollified her.  Without looking into his eyes, she reached up and grabbed his hand, dragging it down to her lips and kissing his fingertips as she drew the sheets up over her back, snuggling in against him.  They were silent for a moment until Morgana cleared her throat. 

“If that’s what you want, I mean.”  Merlin smiled widely to himself and kissed the top of her head as he squeezed her against him, rewarding her softness with honesty. 

“I want.  Very much want you.”  She wriggled happily against him, settling in as the late afternoon sun began to move into her window.    Morgana teased another grunt out of Merlin as she writhed on top of him until he playfully nipped her ear. 

“Enough.  Until tomorrow.”  Morgana shrugged, unconcerned for the most part, but unwilling to let him think for a moment that she didn’t want him. 

“What about tonight?”  He laughed lowly, filling her with the hum of his voice. 

“Let’s get through this afternoon, shall we?”  Her kiss was slow and deep and he sighed.  “You know I think I could happily kiss you ever day for the rest of my life?  I’m pathetic.”  She lightly slapped his chest in admonishment again, even as she smiled indulgently. 

“You’re not pathetic.  You’re mine.”

∞₸∞

The sun was beginning to shine in the low west window as Merlin woke.  Morgana was still asleep in his arms and pouted adorably when he moved.  She settled back in and Merlin smiled to himself ruefully as he looked down at her.  Not a care or worry seemed to touch her when she slept, so peacefully.  Merlin made happy little sounds to himself as she stretched slightly.  He kissed her shoulder and she murmured his name in her sleep.  Merlin looked around; his sleep fogged mind wondered what had woken him until he remembered the strange dream he’d been having where he’d heard Gwaine and Arthur arguing.  He frowned and scratched his head.  A sudden rasp of a sword leaving a scabbard had him rolling over. 

Arthur stood in the last rays of the sun by Morgana’s window, staring at the bedded pair with murder in his eyes.  The red rays caught against the blade as Arthur raised it with his father’s temper. 

“You… filthy… What the hell do you think you’re doing with my sister??”


	4. Among the Druids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Morgana head to the Druid Camp to negotiate on Camelot's behalf. But first, there was a very shocked Arthur to deal with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while between sittings, but I've had a lot going on. My apologies for that, and I'm going to try and get the last chapter out quickly, I've already written most of it, but it was huge, so this is now a 5 part series instead of 4. 
> 
> There's a LOT of fluff and some naughty in here as well, so hope you enjoy. :D

 

 

* * *

 

Arthur’s eyes were white with the rage that also twisted his face as his voice echoed against the stone of Morgana's walls.  He was staring at his sister’s bed and her bedraggled lover with seething, blinding anger until something about the lover clicked in his mind as the half-asleep fool struggled in the sheets to see what has happening.

“MERLIN?!?!?”  His friend’s puzzled, flustered expression would have been priceless in any other moment, except that Morgana struggled back into wakefulness beside him and threw an arm across Merlin’s shoulder, accidentally smacking him in the face.  She giggled and Arthur lowered his sword in complete disbelief.  His rage dissipated and he shook his head as he took the scene in.  Merlin looked at him and paled even as Morgana leaned up and protectively put her arm around his shoulder as she noticed Arthur and his sword.  Merlin half curled around her, protecting her, even as her hair slipped around his thin shoulder and fell down his skin.  Ridiculously, it made him blush. 

“Um…”  Arthur shook his head and Merlin’s confused jaw clipped shut.

“I can’t believe this.”  Morgana tossed her hair back in a show of confidence, but the move revealed the love bites on Merlin’s neck that her hair had covered previously and Arthur’s nostrils flared in sudden emotion.

“I didn’t hear you knock, Arthur.”  Merlin almost laughed.  Such poise under the circumstances.  Somehow she made it seem as if this was all Arthur’s fault.  She was amazing.  He smiled foolishly and Arthur’s face darkened even as Merlin tried to cover his face.

“Whoop,” murmured Merlin, turning away.

“I didn’t… I thought…  Wait, you’re having a go at MY impropriety?!?”  Morgana shrugged and Merlin blushed again as her bare breasts moved against his back.  Morgana gave a delighted laugh at his reaction and tightened her arms around him, almost completely ignoring Arthur.  For his part, the king couldn’t help but notice the pure happiness on Morgana’s face.

“You DID forget to knock… but if it helps, we didn’t want you to find out about us like this.”  Merlin turned his head and Morgana’s eyes dropped smugly to the bite marks again.  He mock scowled at her rather fiercely, he imagined, before ruining it with another of those overly-populous foolish grins.

“We?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow at her.  “Us?”  Morgana gave a small smile and put her open mouth on his shoulder to hide her smile, but her breath washed over the high shoulder blades and gave rise to goose bumps.  Merlin turned to Arthur, who was staring at the two of them as if they’d been possessed.  Which Merlin silently conceded, wasn’t far from the point albeit in a good way.  Given all the bad choices they’d experienced in the past, he decided to go with honesty. 

“She’s telling you the truth, Arthur.  We haven’t even really discussed… us?”  He looked hopefully at Morgana, who nodded and hid her smile behind his bare shoulder again.  Her other hand drifted down towards his belly innocuously beneath the cover and he flinched in nerves as she laughed behind him.  Arthur scoffed in disgust and turned to the side, painfully aware of their nakedness before him.

“Oh, for God’s sake, stop it.  When did this all happen?”  Merlin gave a fond smile.

“On your wedding night,” he admitted.  “She danced with me.”

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days,” asked Arthur drily.  Morgana’s eyes narrowed but her lover reacted first, almost bristling.  Morgana liked thinking of Merlin like that.  Her lover.

“It’s not like that,” Merlin defended sternly.  “It was…”  He smiled in wonder and looked at Morgana, who laid her head on his shoulder and stared at his eyes with an expression of pure tenderness.  Never in a thousand lifetimes would he have thought that Morgana would ever look at him like that.  It made him feel lightheaded and he smiled at her and leaned forward to kiss her.  Morgana smiled back and lifted her face to his. 

“You’re a complete lush, Merlin,” the king burst out in frustration.  The warlock shrugged with complete apathy before conceding that making out with Morgana while naked in front of Athur probably wasn’t the easiest way to get the king’s approval.  Unless he was into that sort of thing, which given his well-known prudery was unlikely. 

“For her, I am.”  Arthur sighed and turned back towards the door.  When it looked like he’d calmed down somewhat, Merlin’s eyes darted to the doorway, where he could see a friendly face grinning interestedly at the proceedings.  Arthur scowled and Gwaine looked behind him before realising the king’s ire was directed at HIM and then ducked out of sight from where he’d been eavesdropping without a trace of shame.  Arthur turned back to Merlin and Morgana.

“Get dressed, Merlin.  We need to talk.  There’s a druid priestess here in Camelot.”  Merlin blanched.

“Not for long.  She’s leaving tonight.”  Arthur rolled his eyes and threw his hands up into the air, nearly knocking over one of Morgana’s statues with his still brandished sword.  He angrily slid it back into its scabbard.

“For God’s sake, Merlin, put on some pants and come out.  If you’re going to forget to tell me important little details like…”  He slammed the door with a thump, still grumbling.  There was a moment of absolute silence.  “Dis-bloody-smissed, Gwaine!” he roared after a moment, his voice reverberating through the timbers of Morgana’s chamber door.  Morgana look at Merlin and smiled, biting her lip. 

“Well that went about as well as can be expected.”  Merlin rolled his eyes as he searched for his pants frantically.  When he bent down to pull them out from underneath the bed, Morgana slapped his bottom.

∞₸∞

Merlin pulled the huge door closed gingerly and turned to head to the royal chambers, but Arthur stood impatiently tapping his foot right outside Morgana’s chamber door.  Arthur took a deep breath, lifting his lips in a barely constrained snarl.

“If you… look, Merlin, she’s my sister.  That’s my sister you debased in there!”  Merlin twisted his sleeve nervously.

“Actually, she debased me… well, not… actually, there was probably a lot of mutual debasement going on.”  Arthur looked at him incredulously.

“Are you serious?  That’s your defence?  You actually want to say that?  To me?  Now?  Are you mental?” Merlin drew himself up and fixed Arthur with a stare.  It dismayed Arthur when Merlin’s lanky frame actually rose above his slightly.

“Like you can talk to me about relationships?”  Merlin’s piercing tone was a little shocking to Arthur, who frowned quizzically.

“Why the hell shouldn’t I?  You’re a virg…” 

“Not anymore.” Merlin cut him off emphatically.  Arthur shook his head in astonishment and his voice rose several octaves.

“That’s my bloody sister, Merlin!”  Merlin crossed his arms and stared the king down. 

“You have no right to lecture me or ANYONE else for that matter on who they want to be with…”  Arthur’s face darkened immediately as his voice dropped low with hot anger.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Merlin?”  His threatening voice threw Merlin for a moment before he understood where it was coming from.  He looked at Arthur like the king was a complete idiot, and glanced around to make certain there was no one in the halls at all to witness.

“You sod right-the-hell off, mate.  You KNOW how much I love Gwen; she’s the sister I never had and I would never begrudge her even a moment.  She’s my friend first, and then my Queen and if you can’t handle that….”  Arthur nodded and had the decency to look at least moderately shamefaced.  Merlin had always been one of Gwen’s closest friends and most ardent supporters.  He’d never have anything bad to say about her marrying Arthur and had been both supportive and joyously happy when they’d finally wed.  “I’m talking about your history of everything in a skirt turning your bloody head so fast it’s a wonder the crown stayed on at all!”  Arthur started guiltily and then tried to cover it.

“I have NO idea what you’re…”

“Sophia.  Then Gwen, if memory serves, though you didn’t act on it.”  Merlin held up a hand and began to tick off fingers.  “Lady Vivian.  Then Gwen again.  Then Lady Mithian.  Then back to Gwen.  You’re lucky she didn’t slap you that time.  Actually, you’re probably luckier that they haven’t fitted your bedchamber with a revolving bloody door!”  Merlin waved his finger at Arthur, who stood gaping like a beached goldfish.  Merlin hung his head for a moment and his smile eased back across his face as his voice lowered again.

“Arthur,” he admonished gently.  “If I ever hurt Morgana like you’re warning me against, then I wouldn’t love her as much as I know I do; as much as probably everyone knows I do.  If I hurt her, I’ll do anything I can to make it up to her in any way possible, and not a damn thing you say will ever make a difference.  If you love Morgana, then believe in her, and in her choices.  Even if they’re to be with me.”  Arthur closed his mouth and looked mildly petulant. 

“I had a speech made up, you know.  For the two of you.”  Merlin smirked. 

“Was it a good one?”

“Yeah, well it wasn’t bad, but now it seems like a waste of time.”

“I’ll act suitably chastised.”

“I doubt you know how.  I spent a while on it Merlin.  And you’re right.  I’ve known you were in love with her for years.  I guess…  I was just shocked.  Truth be told, I’d kind of thought you might have given up loving her, because she was always too nice to you to let you get over her.  You kind of gave it away when you brought her flowers all the time.  And they were very distinctive, too.  Poorest flower selection in all of Camelot.”  Arthur looked smug as Merlin cocked his head to the side. “Handpicked and completely unsuitable for wooing a woman of quality like Morgana.”  He frowned as Merlin raised an eyebrow.  Clearly the flowers HAD made an impression. 

“Never thought I’d act on it?”  Arthur scoffed in disbelief.

“As if you did.  This was completely her idea, wasn’t it?”  Merlin’s grin broke wide.

“You think I’d say no to her?”

“Not if you wanted to live.”  Merlin shrugged, and that look of wonder came back to his face. 

“She’s… incredible.  She’s the strongest person I’ve ever met, but she’s also one of the kindest.  She’s beautiful and wise and almost the only person I’ve ever thought about like that.”  Arthur’s face grew sombre as he clapped Merlin firmly on the shoulder as the warlock’s eyes clouded. 

“Freya.  Yeah.  Hells.  I’m sorry.  I trust you, mate.  I know you won’t do anything to hurt her.  Just love her like you say you do; she’ll be the happiest woman alive.”  They shared a moment of thankful understanding before Arthur let Merlin go and crossed his arms, suddenly businesslike as though he were uncomfortable with the evocative subject.  “So.  Tell me about this druid girl.”  Merlin nodded.

“You should know about Nimueh.  I killed her my first year in Camelot.  She was responsible for your birth.  She was the High Priestess that your father went to for help in siring an heir.  Nimuen is her daughter.”  Arthur’s eyes widened and he paled a bit.  Merlin took a chance and squared his shoulders.

“And while you’re already shocked to the core, there was something else I wanted to discuss with you, too…”

∞₸∞

Hours later, Merlin knocked on Morgana’s door.  After a moment, she opened it, and her smile was enough to make Merlin’s chest hurt.  She tilted her head to the side and a curl of hair slipped down across her neck invitingly.  Merlin’s hands clawed into fists to avoid grabbing her in the doorway, and she pouted.  His eyes narrowed at the mirth in her own.

“My Lady,” he said in a low voice, deep with sincerity.  Morgana pursed her lips as she took a deep, hungry breath at his tone and her expression turned innocent. 

“A handsome suitor comes a’knocking at my door so late in the day’s hour.  Whatever shall I do?”  She seized his necktie and pulled him into the room before pushing him back against the thick door to close it.  The latch clicked and Morgana put her hands either side of Merlin’s face.  “You were gone too long, Merlin.”  Instead of answering her, he simply nodded and kissed her gently.  Her hands on his face lightened through the kiss and slid down to rest on his chest. 

“Careful, Merlin.  I could get used to greetings like that,” she smiled when he pulled back regretfully.  “I’m trying to seduce you and you make me fall in love with you all over again with your ruddy tenderness…”

“Happy to oblige.”  He let her lead him through the chamber to the bed, where she hesitated, before leading him further on to a settee by the window, looking out over the courtyard and further into the forests.  The courtyard was lit, but the forest was dark in the moonless starlight.  “Arthur’s agreed to send us into the druid camp with Nimuen.”  Her eyebrow rose as she sat at one end and curved her legs under Merlin’s appreciative gaze so he could sit down.  It took only a moment and her legs were in his lap.  His hands drifted down to rub them and her expression shifted to dreamy contentment as she laid her head back.  Her sleeping gown slid down slightly as she repositioned to get comfortable, and she smiled with her eyes still closed as Merlin’s hands stilled momentarily.  The swell of her breasts shook with silent laughter and Merlin resumed his podiatry.

“Did he have much of a choice?” 

“Not once I explained how it would go.”  Morgana smirked at his smug tone.

“Funny, I thought I was the seer?”  Merlin looked up and she opened an eye to smile at him indulgently.

“You’re a seer?” 

“Mmhmm.  How did you think I knew how much you liked me?”  She stretched and her gown pressed against her breasts, but Merlin was staring at her legs by now.  Morgana bit her lip as she smiled happily.  Merlin didn’t appear to have any problems oogling her, nor any particular favourite part to oogle, at least not yet.  Somehow though, it didn’t feel like she was being stared at.  Merlin had an innocence and a wonder to his lust.  It was different.  She suddenly had a powerful urge to kiss him for being so… him.

“Because my…  Because I’m… Well how could I not?”  She looked at him, biting her lip at his confused tone and tried to decide how she’d managed to survive this long without giving in and throwing herself at him.  She should have drunk more wine, she decided.  Then she’d have had an excuse to do it.  Knowing Merlin though, he’d have tried to be a gentleman about it.  Maybe she should have tried magic, she thought, amused.

“Stop that, Merlin.  You certainly weren’t forthcoming in your affections.”  Merlin didn’t think he was worth her, she knew.  To spend so long wanting someone and to have them doubt their worth…

“I thought I was showing too much for years.  There wasn’t a day that went by that I thought I concealed how I felt well enough.  You’re a princess.  You could be a queen.  You’re so far beyond my dreams, I still can’t believe that you would even consider me.  But aside from all that, am I going to pay for the rest of my life for not being more open, am I?”  His smile was wide, but Morgana answered quietly and seriously.

“No, as long as you spend it with me.”  There was a vulnerable hitch at the end of her sentence, and Merlin pushed her feet out of his lap and pulled himself towards her strongly.  He held himself above her, even as she tilted herself up towards him, arching her body to align with his and breathing sensually as she opened her mouth to him.  Merlin stared at her and realised how deeply in love with her he was.

“You’re stuck now, though.  You wanted me?  You have me.  Until the day you cast me aside, I’m yours, soul and sworn.”  Morgana shook her head and her breath caught as he started to move away, until her hands caught at his jacket and pulled him down towards her.  Pressing him down on top of her, Morgana kissed him urgently, almost desperately.  Confused, Merlin pulled back after a moment, staring at her.  Her eyes were wet with unopened hurt.

“I’m just not… all that, Merlin.  I’m just me.  And for what it’s worth, just because only a select few people can see how incredible you are, doesn’t make you any less of a wonderful, good man.  And I’m…  You’ve never really… I’m a little….  Gods…”  She swallowed nervously and looked away.  “I’ve never done anything to help people like you have, Merlin, not on the same scale.  Maybe it’s not you that should be thinking you’re not good enough…”  Merlin tilted her face back towards him.

“You are to me.  And to everyone else that matters,” he almost snarled, so fierce in his opinion of her.  He was almost daring her to say it again, and she’d never seen this side of him.  It was a hot, protective passion, and she couldn’t think for a moment because it was all for her.  She nodded, almost absently. 

“Back at you, Merlin.  I’m not interested in being left because you think you’re not good enough for me.  I might be who I am, but I’m also just _me_.  I’m not some conceited, selfish spoiled brat.  I’m well aware that I’m not perf…”

“Hey,” he whispered, cutting her off.  “I love you.  I always have.  And I was wrong.  I’m sorry.  I tried to make decisions about us that I thought were for the best.  I tried to convince myself that it was better if we just remained friends, and that was it.  But I should have at least spoken to you about it.  Though gods know how in the hell I would have had that conversation.  You know how I can’t really talk around you.”  She smiled a little and he ducked his chin down, staring into her eyes meaningfully.  “I’m sorry.  I was wrong.”  Morgana stared at him.  A single tear moved in the candlelight, glistening down her cheek. 

“Promise me, Merlin.  Promise me that if you’re hurt or unhappy, you’ll tell me.  Talk to me, just be open with me.  Don’t pull it all inside to protect me or keep me from hurt.  Stand beside me and hold my hand and let me fight all that with you.”  Her green eyes burned intently as she pushed up off the settee and met his kiss.  “Your happiness means just as much to me as what mine does to you,” she breathed.  Merlin’s arms tightened around her and the kiss turned indelicate quickly.  Merlin broke it off first, but pushed his forehead against hers to not lose contact and she could feel his breath through his smile as he shook his head slowly. 

“Why does it feel like there’s an “Or else!” in there somewhere unspoken?” 

“I can say it if it’ll make you feel better.”  Merlin shook his head at her arch tone as he leaned forward to kiss her again.

“Nah.  You’re mouth’s busy.”  The kissing turned to heavy petting soon enough, with Morgana pulling at his clothing so she could feel his skin, and he pulling down her bedclothes to rake his teeth across her neck and shoulder.  Morgana struggled and panted, her mouth open as her hands turned to claws in his hair.  Merlin turned his head to the bed at her soft moan and raised a questioning eyebrow.  She gave a low laugh that somehow had Merlin surging with passion. 

“We’re incorrigible…” she moaned, her smile wide.  Merlin’s distracted agreement as he kissed his way down her chest had her biting her lip again to hide her smile.

“I… wholeheartedly… concur,” he breathed, punctuating his words with more kisses.  Annoyingly, Morgana thought of how little time they had until the morrow.

“We should stop,” she ventured half-heartedly.   Merlin’s fingers were sliding up the outside of her legs intently as he worked the side of her nightgown open and delightedly seized a barely defended nipple. 

“Or we could get it out of the way and NOT stop so we can concentrate better after.”  Merlin’s tongue was sending small explosions of heat through her and her legs were twitching with the desire to wrap them around his waist. 

“Get it out of the way?  What kind of woman do you take me for?”  Despite her mocking tone, Morgana was almost on the verge of ripping off Merlin’s clothes and not bothering to attempt to get to the bed.  The settee was cramped, but Merlin was very flexible, and so was she when she had a mind to be, which right now, she did.

“Any kind that lets me kiss her, hopefully,” answered Merlin with lust thick in his voice as he moved back up from her breasts to her lips and attacked her passionately.   His hands were in her hair as her hands found his shirt and began to tug it up impatiently.  Finally, her fingertips found his ribs and pulled him down onto her.  Merlin pressed his body onto her and kissed further down her neck as Morgana pulled her hands out from under his shirt and wrapped them around him, following suit with her legs as she kissed at his ear. 

“You’ve very good at that,” she moaned low into his ear.  Merlin’s bottom jaw scaped along her skin and then his tongue lashed down again, the passion in his intensity covering her skin in goose bumps.  He wanted her.  Beyond belief, he wanted her.  All those years of not knowing, all those times of being so close to simply grabbing him and kissing him and then the crushing doubt because Merlin was so damned unreadable.  No matter what she’d done, she still hadn’t known if he even wanted her.  But he did.  Not just simply, but with a fervour that she couldn’t deny, even if she wanted to.  Merlin was hers.  Morgana held him tightly and felt more tears threatening to fall.

“I have wanted to kiss every single inch of your skin I might ever touch since the night I became Arthur’s servant,” swore Merlin, not looking up and not seeing how much he’d given her in that offhand comment.

“That’s a long wait,” she said, staring down at his lowered head.  She bit her lip as her quaking tone stopped him.  He heard the forced tone and the tearful quaver and his blue eyes sought hers. 

“And you are so amazingly worth it,” he said, looking up and staring at her eyes with brutal honesty.  Lost for a moment at the simple wonder of her Merlin honestly telling her what she meant to him, she touched his face gently. 

“We need to plan things out for tomorrow,” she urged slowly, letting him know how regretful she was of the fact.  Merlin stared at her for another moment before looking away with a rueful laugh.  Morgana moved her legs and felt how firm he was against her thigh and stopped for a moment to reconsider.

“I’d really rather just explore and find all your little wondrous little treasur… ooh, collarbones…”  He moved forwards excitedly and Morgana laughed helplessly as he kissed them feather light, breaking the solemnity of her mood.  Her laugh faded as she felt the possessive pressure of his hands as his lips widened and then he was sucking on her collarbones and somehow setting her hips on fire without even touching them.

“Gods, Merlin,” she moaned, gripping his head and trying to pull him up and away from her.  “Merlin, stop, please.  I can’t think.”  Thoroughly flustered, she pushed him up and off her for a second before grabbing his head and pulling him down into her rough kiss.  She let him go with bruising force and glared at him even as she tried to regain her composure, but she could feel his hips between her thighs and her body wasn’t cooperating with her mind.

“I’m going to get you for this, Merlin.”  He gave her a lopsided grin with a smouldering look of challenge that she recognized as one of her own.  She was dismayed to find that his was just as effective on her as what her own evocative gazes had been on him.  “We have to talk about tomorrow, about what we’re going to do; we have to prepare,” she insisted disjointedly.  For a moment, it looked as though Merlin would continue ravishing her, and more than most of her wanted to let him.  She could still feel him through his trousers against her thigh, and when he nodded in acquiescence, she almost didn’t believe him. 

“You’re right.  As per usual.”  Morgana sat up as Merlin ran a hand through his hair and straightened his clothing.  Her hair was a wild mess, but she knew Merlin wouldn’t mind an iota. 

“You enjoy messing up my hair, don’t you?”  Merlin’s lust-brightened eyes went to her hair and her hands running through it and the blue darkened a shade or two.

“You have no idea,” he said, his voice low and rough with hunger and need.  Thrills exploded up and down her spine and bizarrely across her hips again at the pure want in his tones.  She cleared her throat and glared at him again.  Merlin grinned.

“We’ll travel as partners,” she began.  “Lowborn noble or some such.  As for you…”  Merlin nodded.

“Enthusiastic seducee.  I swear it...”  He smiled at her and her stomach annoyingly did backflips. 

“Can you really not?  Seriously, you’re making me feel…  gah!”  She mimicked an explosion with her hands and Merlin frowned despite his laugh.  “And I absolutely defy you to deny that you were and are an enthusiastic seducee.”  He gave her a mock bow and Morgana smiled, even as she stared at him.  Her grin faded and she reached out to hold his hand.  Merlin stayed silent as she worked up the courage to say something.

“Who’s Freya?”  Merlin’s amusement seeped away as he nodded slowly and looked out the window. 

“Listening in this afternoon, huh?”  She stared at him; unable to reassure him that she didn’t hadn’t meant to intrude.

“Just to make sure I didn’t have to bring Arthur in line because he went off the deep end at you over us.  It doesn’t matter.”  She smiled encouragingly at him.  “Where were we, aside from just deciding that we were travelling as partners?”  She hid her feelings but Merlin’s blue eyes slid back towards her and saw through everything.  His wise eyes admonished her concealment of her feelings and she gave a small, contrite nod. He squeezed her hand tightly and then brought it up to his lips and kissed her palm, before lowering her hand back to his lap.

“Freya,” he began in a quiet voice.  Morgana stilled as he gave a sudden, fond smile.  She knew this was going to be painful for him.  She regretted asking almost immediately but when she opened her mouth to tell him it didn’t matter, Merlin had already decided it did.

“When I was much younger, I was very alone.  I had Gaius, who knew who I was; about my powers.  Arthur was there, but I never believed we could be friends because to me, he was always the Once and Future King, and I was little more than his path to that end, even when and maybe because… he didn’t know me.  Gwen was my friend, and she knew me, but nobody...”  He trailed off and looked off out the window again.  Morgana was suddenly struck with an epiphany as she stared at her lover.  Merlin was possibly the most alone person she would ever know.  Her own horridly lonely days of youth were nothing compared to his.  Merlin had set aside his wants and desires; everything he’d wanted for himself, all for Arthur’s possibility.  That he could have been another Cornelius Segan, and instead, chose to work with his hands in the dirt beside just the _chance_ that Arthur could make a better world.  A road alone, she mourned.  To become the man he was, Arthur had unknowingly needed Merlin to sacrifice every part of who he was, and to do so willingly, and in the knowledge that he might never be thanked for it or receive any kind of appreciation.  The sheer weight of who he was and what he had gone through began to reveal itself to her.  Morgana felt her heart break. 

“Freya was a druid.  Cursed to become a Bastet by the mother of a thug that assaulted her, she was captured by Halig, forsaken by the others of her village.  She was as alone as I was.  I freed her from Halig’s cage because I… I wanted to help someone.  Nothing I’d done had seemed to change anything.  My life was out of control and I guess I thought that if I could rescue her, that it would be someone in who’s life I had made a genuine difference.  She was a druid, and she… I guess I assumed she had magic.  Maybe it was cursed to only be used to transform her at night into the Bastet.  I never found out.”  Merlin breathed steadily, but Morgana’s eyes were closed in horror.

“She changed and fled the tunnels where we’d been hiding.  Arthur wounded her, thinking her a mindless beast bent on attacking everything in sight.  But she saw me.  She mourned even as Arthur swung at her.  She changed back as she was dying and even though my own master held the blade that killed her and I did nothing to stop it, and couldn’t help her, she thanked me.  I… she died because of me and she thanked me.  She thought she was a monster, but I think, in the end, she saw how beautiful she was.  As a person.  Maybe I gave her that, or maybe I just let her see it.  But either way, that was the first girl I ever really fell for.  Someone that knew me, and would want me, maybe.  Given a chance.  But that wasn’t to be.  She was, and is, the Lady of the Lake.  She had her role to play in destiny, and so did I.”    Morgana lifted the hand she held in her own and touched it to the side of her face gently.  She felt the work-roughened skin and good, solid warmth in his flesh and kissed the back of his palm. Merlin roused himself and smiled at her softly.

“So that’s the tale.  Maudlin, I know.”  Morgana took his hand and blew out the settee side table’s candle, and led him to the bed.  She slid beneath the covers, and tugged at Merlin’s hand when he didn’t follow suit.  “I should go, Morgana.  I’m not going to be very good company tonight.”  Morgana’s eyes narrowed sternly.

“I’m here for _you_ , Merlin.  If I run because you share your burden… or let _you_ run when you need me… then I don’t deserve you.”  His face crumpled slightly and he smiled painfully even as he closed his eyes and began to take off his clothes.  Silently, she moved over in the bed as he kicked off his boots, and when he lifted the covers, she opened her arms to him and wrapped him in her body.

“I love you, Merlin.  You’re my champion, you know that?  I hope one day everyone else can see what an incredible man you are, but for now, I just want you to myself.  Like this, right now.  Because this is nicer than I ever thought it would be.”  She kissed him softly on the brow as his hands wrapped about her waist and they settled in under the covers.  Merlin felt the wetness in his eyes as she claimed him, and Morgana felt his tears dampen her nightgown but even though they both acknowledged it, they also simply let it be.  She cast her mind back to her father’s rough voice in the dark when she used to have nightmares as a child, and he would come and sing her to sleep with a soft lullaby that his grandmother had brought with her from her ancestral homes in the northern isles.

It had no words, and wasn’t anything more than a tune from a long away memory, but it spoke to both of them.  It spoke of rolling hills and dark forests filled and aglow with the power of magic, the breath of the land itself. 

“You’re an angel,” murmured Merlin in wonder.  Morgana blushed modestly. 

“My Da used to sing it to me.  His grandmother used to sing it to him when he had nightmares.  “The old land protects us,” he’d say.”  She broke off and her brow creased as she deepened her voice to imitate the long passed Gorlois.  “The voice of the land brings the strength of the rocks and the breath from the trees themselves.  They give us life and watch us earn it each and every day.  If you listen to the voice, you’ll have no fear, for what fears can stand against the might of the land itself?”  Merlin nodded, thinking for a moment of Balinor, and enjoying a moment of pride for Morgana to have at least had that much from the man she’d always thought of as her father. 

“It’s good that he can still give you things, all these years later.”  Morgana pulled back and laid her head on the pillow, staring at him. 

“Says the Dragonlord,” she noted perceptively.  Merlin closed his eyes and conceded the point with a tilt of his head.  Then, because it was convenient, she kissed him again.   They held one another for a moment and Merlin felt his mood lifting.  She was right, he thought silently.  She was better for him than sitting alone in his tower moping.  He grinned suddenly.  He wouldn’t _tell_ her that she was right of course.  He’d done that enough today.  She poked him in the ribs.

“Whoever you’re thinking about needs to leave your thoughts.” Morgana scowled at him and Merlin grinned, until she shook her head helplessly and kissed him again quickly. 

“How could you ever be out of my thoughts?”  She looked at him archly and tapped an admonishing finger on his bare chest.  Merlin felt that that was decidedly unfair.  If _he_ was topless, then surely…

“What do you want to be known as?”  Merlin took a breath, felt the scent of her hair flow deep into his lungs and laughed helplessly.

“Yours,” he shrugged simply and with instant sincerity.  Morgana’s eyes brightened.

“You’re not supposed to say that,” she said, smiling broadly in happiness.  “We’re supposed to be concentrating.  I have to concentrate!” 

“So do I, but I love you.  And I can say it.  I spent too long thinking about saying it, and now I can shout it.”  He made to get out of bed and go to the window and Morgana laughed and pulled him back towards her.   

“You could have said it before,” she ventured softly, snuggling against his chest. Merlin scoffed. 

“You’re so completely out of my league, what chance did I have?”  Morgana looked pointedly at their mussed appearances and her position, splayed across his almost naked body.  She laughed at him fondly and lifted his hand in hers.   

“Obviously some…” she gestured.  Merlin shrugged and looked at her in smiling wonder.

“I still can’t believe you feel the same way.”  She raised an eyebrow.

“You think I’m tricking you?”

“I think you’ve bespelled me.”

“Hmm.”  She licked her lips and Merlin chewed the inside of his lip for a moment.  “Do you mind?” she asked archly. 

“Not in the slightest,” Merlin laughed as he pulled her towards him into another kiss.  Morgana let the kiss deepen and then moaned as his hands began to spread low over her hips, dragging her nightgown up her body and over her head.  The details could wait.  They weren’t that important after all, were they?

∞₸∞

The next day found them in the Lion Inn, sitting in a corner booth.  Morgana sat with her hood up and covering most of her face, but she was straddling Merlin’s lap as he whispered into her hair.  It looked for all the world like just another young couple canoodling in the back of the mead hall, but despite the opportunity, both were quite intent on the task at hand.  Morgana was whispering a cloaking spell that was quite complicated even as Merlin watched the crowd.  Gwaine sat far at the back of the hall, drinking as he usually did in the bar but with an expression on his face that would have been quite comical in any other setting.  The barkeep had watered down his beer at his request, so as to appear he was drinking himself into insensibility, when it was far from the case.  Gwaine had much practice with both drunkenness and feigning it, but he would have rathered the former given the flat, horrid taste coming from his cup.  The knight turned slovenly away from the bar and winked blank faced at Merlin as a lithe, dark robed figure stepped out from behind the stairs and made her way to the booth.

“Are you two quite finished?  The most important thing is the details and we don’t have much time.”  Nimuen went to throw back her hood and Merlin moved his head in a miniscule shake as Morgana struggled for a moment to keep her spell going at Nimuen’s words.  Beneath her hood, she blushed. 

“We’re not unnoticed, Nimuen.  We think Odin has several men loyal to him in the taverns hereabouts.”  Morgana eased off his lap as a sudden wash of magic flowed over the three of them and Nimuen flinched. 

“Now they’ll only hear an inane conversation about the trade routes to the east,” the sorceress reassured them, flush faced from the effort of the spell.  “It’s complicated because you basically have to say the whole conversation yourself within the spell,” she added to Nimuen, who bowed her head, looking impressed.

“Useful,” Merlin complimented.  He turned to Nimuen.  “There’s a lot to go over.  What do you have planned?”  The young priestess looked at him strangely.  He was placing them both in her hands and trusting her.  Nimuen shook off her nerves, focussing and taking both of them into her gaze.

“We’ll travel some distance outside the city, then we should be there within two to three days.  Hard riding we could be there by the end of the day, but I’d much prefer taking a roundabout route and shaking off any shadows we might have developed so I’m not sure horses will be the way to go.  Hoof prints are easy to track if you know what you’re looking for.”  Merlin nodded as he eyed Gwaine, who frowned and tilted his head, listening to a completely different conversation.  Merlin almost felt sorry for him as he frowned in disgust at his cup.

“What direction?  Actually, we don’t need to know if you don’t want to tell us.  Will we not need horses at all?  You did say hard riding?”  Nimuen thought about that.

“Not… really.  Most of the route is easy enough to navigate through, and horses are very easy to track.”  Morgana shook her cowled head. 

“You’re not willing to tell us where we’re going or where you’re leading us, but you’re expecting us to trust you?”  Nimuen flinched, but didn’t answer, and Morgana looked at Merlin questioningly.  He shrugged.

“Okay.”  Morgana’s eyes widened but she didn’t question him.  Nimuen chose not to let it go however.

“That’s it?  Just “Okay” and you’re both on board?”  Again, Merlin shrugged.

“Trust has to start somewhere.”  Nimuen looked grateful but merely bowed her head for a moment.  She reached into the folds of her cloak and pulled out two bundles wrapped in rough butcher’s twine and oiled paper. 

“You can wear these.  Your clothes are very fine, and they’d give you away.”  Merlin took his unconcernedly while Morgana with a little more hesitation.  “They’re plain, but clean,” Nimuen added.  She wrung her hands on the table top for a moment.  “You spoke of trust,” she ventured.  Morgana nodded as she tucked the bundle out of sight.  Her hand strayed down to hold Merlin’s. 

“Okay.  You trusted me.  Let me repay that.  You want to see what kind of people the druids are?  I want to separate just as we get to the camp.  You can slip in as refugees from one of the king’s patrols and I’ll follow soon after, from another direction.  One of my tasks is the initiation of the Lostlings; people who have been run off their ancestral homes by those hunting magic users.  I’ll reconnect with you there, and find you a tent.  Your cover stories will have to be close enough to the truth that you will only deviate in names and that’s about all.”  Morgana nodded innocently and tilted her head towards Merlin. 

“Highborn Noble.  Ran away with my servant when we both discovered we had magic. I seduced him.  He was an enthusiastic seducee.  We’re on the run from my family.”  Merlin gave a slight smile and pouted.

“Why am I the servant?  What if you were mine?”  Morgana moved her hand from holding his under the booth bench to squeezing the inside of his thigh suggestively. 

“We can talk about your fantasies later… my lord.”  The powerful warlock blushed uncontrollably and stuttered incoherently.  Nimuen rolled her eyes as Morgana tapped her chin thoughtfully.

“Morgan?  No.  Anna.”  It was a simple enough change.  Nimuen nodded in acceptance.  Merlin’s hand pulled hers off his thigh, but squeezed her fingers possessively and threaded them together.   

“I like Anna.”  Morgana smirked at him and then it gentled into a smile.   

“Oh good, baby names.  This is a fun game.”  Merlin’s eyes widened and Morgana bumped her shoulder into his with a smile.  “I’m sure I can be Anna without too much trouble.”  Nimuen turned to Merlin, who shrugged.

“Balin.”  Morgana smiled gently at the name.  

“Try not to use too much magic, or at least none of the overt spells,” Nimuen cautioned them.  “You’re both incredibly powerful, and it would give you away.  Is there a place you can come from?”  Merlin answered swiftly.

“Ealdor.  It’s far enough away.  We can virtually make up any story.”  Nimuen gave a cautious shrug of her own.

“There are people from all over the five kingdoms in the camp.  As I’ve said, we are a landless nation.”  She fell silent after that, so it wasn’t a remonstration, simply a caution.  “Okay. How long until you’re ready to leave?”

Merlin looked at Morgana and mentally went through a quick list of things he needed to get done before they could leave.

“Nightfall tomorrow?”  Morgana frowned slightly.  It seemed somewhat excessive, but Merlin had been too ready with the answer.  He obviously had much more to get done in the time than she did.  She nodded, before they both turned to Nimuen.  The druid priestess stood up.

“West gate, half hour after.  I’ll meet you there with horses.” 

∞₸∞

Merlin didn’t come to her that night, and Morgana annoyingly decided that it was for the best as she packed what she thought she’d need, namely a small bag containing a few knickknacks.  They were supposed to be moderately poor people on the run, and wouldn’t have the luxury of a multitude of dresses or such things, but she could certainly carry a few things.  A brush and comb, several small bottles of perfumes, and other items befitting a noble daughter.  She added a cunningly stoppered ink well and a small quill, as well as a dark red bound leather booklet of blank pages.  Morgana scowled as Merlin came into her distracted thoughts again and tried very hard not to think about him, which didn’t work at all.  Frustrated at understanding that it was probably good for them to spend a little bit of time away from one another and yet also not wanting to let him out of her sight, Morgana’s scowl deepened until she looked in the bottom of her dresser and found something decidedly unladylike that suddenly seemed perfect for her mood.  The several plain but serviceable knives completed her collection, which fit nicely into a small leather carry pack she’d decided would be the limit of her carrying allowance given their supposed situation. Idly, she wondered what Merlin was doing again, as she readied herself for sleep that wouldn’t come easy.

 ** _“Morgana…”_**   She flinched as he slid inside her head comfortably but suddenly, and looked to the door, but he wasn’t there.  The warm amusement floated in the depths of her mind, and she concentrated, picturing him in her mind and casting the thought out to the feeling of him. 

 ** _“We need to work out how you’re going to do that without terrifying me.”_**    She knew she sounded stern and fierce, but wondered if Merlin could tell how thrilled she was to hear from him. 

 ** _“Sorry,”_** he apologised, sounding anything but.  **_“You were summoning me.  Sort of.”_**   Morgana stared at the mirror as she moved her hair in front of her into a thick braid. 

 ** _“I most certainly did not.  You don’t need to use an excuse to come and see me or speak to me, Merlin.”_**   She had a vague sense of him sweating topless somewhere, surrounded by low, red heat.  Morgana frowned in lost confusion.

 ** _“You did.  It just wasn’t exactly overt.  It was like a constant hum of you calling my name, but not speaking.  You’re very, very powerful with mind magic, you know.”_**   His proud compliment pleased her more than she wanted to admit, and she could almost hear him laugh.  The power of the connection intrigued her, and she tried to picture him fully in her mind.  Colour flooded as though the darkness was being washed away in her mind’s eye, and she could clearly see Merlin, shirtless and covered in ash and sweat, standing in front of Camelot’s forge.  Morgana closed her eyes and the vision cleared for a moment.  Merlin looked up and suddenly his power was terrifyingly full and huge, filling the whole room with crackling energy until he smiled that beautiful bright thing of his that was so much more than a smile to her. 

 ** _“Not quite ready, Morgana.  Ease back.  You don’t want to lose yourself just when you’re breaking your own boundaries.”_**   That comment intrigued her until she came back to herself with a huge gasp, as though she were drowning and suddenly came up for air.  She could feel Merlin in that comfortable presence in the back of her mind again, instead of the clear vision she’d had before. 

 ** _“That’s what happens when you completely leave your own body, Morgana.  You need to leave enough of yourself so that your body remembers what to do with itself.  If you don’t keep a little bit of yourself, your lungs will forget to breathe and your heart won’t pump.  I don’t want to lose you right now when I’ve just gotten you.”_**   She didn’t respond to that, shocked for a moment at the thought of her dying because she took too many risks.  **_“I miss you, but do you want me to come to you later?  We could have an early breakfast?”_**   He had a hopeful hitch to his voice that had her smiling. 

 ** _“Breakfast sounds lovely.  So does a full night sleep, of course.  So does you coming by and us trying to leave one another alone and failing, too…”_**   He laughed in her head, and something warm and calm happened.

 ** _“I love you,”_** he smiled.  It was simple and honest, and Morgana grinned to herself. 

 ** _“Another thing I could really get used to.”_**   She went to her bead and laid her hair to the side, and closed her eyes.  She could still feel Merlin in her head, concentrating on his task again and smiling to himself as thoughts of her danced in his mind. 

 ** _“I love you too, Merlin.”_**   Covered in soot and grime back in the palace smithy, Merlin suddenly beamed. 

∞₸∞

Next eve, they made their way down to the west gate, dressed in the plain blue garb that Nimuen had given them.  They also wore plain travelling cloaks that Merlin had acquired in the midtown market; sturdy and with oiled liner under the undyed goats wool to keep the rain off but otherwise unadorned.  Morgana’s dress was loose about her shoulders and her hair curled in soft, simple tendrils across the side of her neck, covering the love bites that still hurt a little when she moved her neck suddenly.  She had the sudden, absurd desire to show everyone that could see how much her lover desired her, but the thought only lasted a moment before she controlled it.  She flashed Merlin a devilish grin but he didn’t respond, his eyes searching ahead of them, looking for Nimuen.  He nodded grimly to her as she moved out from beside a gate trader’s stall, leading two horses.  Wordlessly, she offered the larger of the two, a grey palfrey that was unusually large to Merlin and took a small white Spanish jennet, which was nondescript though still beautiful as far as the breed went for herself. 

They exchanged no words as they rode out the gate, though Morgana nestled into Merlin’s embrace from behind her as the horses slowly wound their way off the trade route and deep into the forest, following an old creek bed that had long since lost its source to deeper in the earth.  Merlin let their horse follow Nimuen deep into the forest when he couldn’t see anything but the vague lightness of the horse’s rump.  Nimuen seemed capable of leading her own horse through the forest, and Merlin again found himself compelled to revaluate her.   He wasn’t sure if it was magic or skill or talent, but no matter the source, it was terrifying to watch, more so given how completely they were trusting her.  Morgana shifted slightly in his arms and he moved his shoulders forward, cradling her with his body.

“This is nice,” she murmured.  Merlin breathed in deeply, scenting her hair and smiled.

“You could get used to it?”  She nodded deep in her cowl and he kissed the material against her cheek. 

“Mmmhmm.  You and I, riding through the forest.  Maybe we could skip going back to Camelot and just keep riding on the way back.”  Merlin smiled to himself.

“What about the baths?”  She paused and considered that and he laughed quietly.

“I do enjoy the feel of hot water on my body.  It’s very… soothing…”  Her tone turned languid as she teased the image into his mind and Merlin grinned to himself.

“For me or for you?”  The Seeress in his arms wriggled for a moment, pressing back against him and tilting her head up on his shoulder to look at him from the depths of her cowl.  In the bare light, he could just make out the luminescence of her green eyes. 

“Definitely for me, hopefully not for you.”  She reached up from the awkward tilt and touched his face with a free hand, her gentleness belying the teasing tone of her quiet voice.  Which was apparently not quiet enough for Nimuen, who hushed them gently as they moved out from behind the thick trunk of a tree growing on the edge of the dried creek bed.  A sheer rock face knifing down into the stream’s path split it into two, though the water had done enough to erode the rock some measure over the centuries. 

“I’ll take the left fork,” she murmured lowly, pulling up on the reigns of her jennet and twisting back in the saddle to look at them.  Merlin was startled as her eyes were lit white blue for a moment from within.  Not the gold of magic, but as though the starlight shone from behind her eyes.  “Follow the right fork down until you come to a waterfall that comes out of two rocks.  If you follow the river that leads away from the falls and continue on at about this pace, by two hours after dawn, you should be in the camp, or close enough to that some outliers might find you.”  Merlin nodded. 

“I thought it was a greater distance away.  You’ve been using magic steadily since we left the road to cover our tracks, haven’t you?  And to see where we’re going.”  His tone was almost accusatory, and stern.  Nimuen didn’t answer him and his stance softened after a moment of terse silence.  Morgana smiled in the depths of her cowl. 

“Using that much magic over that much time would be exhausting.  Are you going to be alright?” he begrudged, concern creeping into his tone.  Nimuen turned away and looked towards the left fork in the creekbed. 

“I won’t lie, Emerys.  I may sleep and gorge myself for the next day.  But it’s been worth it.  I won’t have far to go.  There’s a small, forgotten shack about an hour’s ride from here, overlooking where the creek bed runs.  I’ll sleep there.”  He nodded in thanks and turned the horse, clicking his tongue to get the palfrey moving.  “Emerys.”  He pulled back on the reins and the grey shook its head in tired frustration.  Morgana leaned forward and patted the thick neck reassuringly as the two looked at Nimuen.

“You took her from me.  I should hate you.”  Morgana stilled and Merlin sighed and nodded his head.

“I wouldn’t blame you,” he offered sadly. 

“I never had the chance to… make a difference to her.  To try and change her.  Because of you.”  Merlin took a breath to answer, but it failed him and he simply nodded.  Morgana pushed her cowl back off her traveling cloak and shook out her hair. 

“Her legacy is you, Nimuen.  You ARE the difference that you can make to her.  How you choose to act is how Nimueh will be remembered.  I… Uther was not my father.  He sired me, and his blood runs through my veins.  But his mistakes are not mine.  I will tell you the truth of parentage, Nimuen, as I have lived it.  They may approve of you, or they may disapprove of you.  It doesn’t matter.  I will live my life as I see fit.  That is everyone’s sole responsibility in many ways.  Your name can be taken, your life, your everything, can be taken away.  Who you choose to be in every moment is the real you.  You have shown yourself to be a woman concerned with the very fabric of her own people.  No matter what others say, for that; you are a woman of quality in my eyes.”    Nimuen stared at her, and when she shifted her face away in the darkness, a tiny river of glinted starlight came off her cheeks.

“I wonder often if such a difference would have been made, Nimuen,” Merlin gently offered.  “I don’t know what difference it might make in your mind, but it remains one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  I still have nightmares about it, and it still haunts me that there was something else I could have done.  Your mother changed my life, and she’s one of the reasons I try so very, very hard to never lose control again.”  The young sorceress pulled her cowl forwards slightly and nodded wordlessly. 

“I never really knew her.  I was given to the druids to raise before I really knew who I was, or who she was.”  It wasn’t an admonishment, but Merlin flinched behind Morgana, and she turned to him, worried at the hurt in his face and eyes. 

“There’s much of her in you, Nimuen, besides your name.  You both share the same extraordinary beauty and power.  And I’ll never forget either of you for what you’ve done in the name of the Old Religion.”   It wasn’t an apology, and Morgana wasn’t sure Nimuen wanted one.  Most likely, she was simply trying to sort her own mind through its own confusion in regards to Merlin.  There was much unresolved in them, and at some time in the future, they would need to confront it.  But it didn’t look to Morgana that that would be today.  Nimuen nodded to them both and urged the jennet onwards into the left path.  She turned as the grey horse started off again and looked at them both. 

“Safe travels.”  Morgana nodded in thanks and Merlin bowed behind her. 

∞₸∞

Just as Nimuen had said, a few hours after dawn, the creek bed led to a cleave in the rocks of about twenty feet deep leaning over a pond or small lake they could see.  They could hear the water pummelling down into the water below them, but it took them almost half an hour to find the winding path cut into the stone face of the cliff that led them down.  Neither of them had ever seen this part of the forest before, which was impressive given that Morgana had grown up riding through the forests around Camelot and Merlin had ranged far and wide in his apocatherial forages as a youth. They led the horse down the white cliffs and refreshed themselves in the water.  Tired from the long night of riding, the cool mountain water had been a balm to them as they let the palfrey loose to graze.  The grey was too well trained to wander far, but as they sat there in the morning sun and ate a simple breakfast of fruit and cheese that Merlin had packed, it nickered a warning and then moved back towards them, eyeing the forest distrustfully.  Merlin and Morgana shared a glance and then nonchalantly began to pack up their picnic and refill their canteens with fresh water. 

“See anyone?” murmured Morgana as her eyes darted about towards the forest’s edge as it encroached on the small, private waterfall and pond.  Merlin’s own eyes were closed as he listened intently, and he shook his head. 

“There’s… something out there.  But it’s not people, I don’t think.”  Morgana frowned before a long distant clicking reached her eyes and her lip lifted. 

“Serkets,” they intoned in apprehensive unison.  Merlin flexed his hands and turned to face the forest openly as Morgana stepped to his side, readying her own hands.  Instead of the monstrous scorpions though, a man walked out from behind the tree line calmly, his hands clasped in front of him and his purple robe clean and unruffled.  The two sorcerers shared a glance and didn’t lower their stance.

“Good Morning,” offered the stranger politely with a tilt of his head.  He kept his stance unthreatening and polite, and Merlin quickly followed suit, though Morgana only lowered her hands.  “If you’re trying to give yourselves away as those blessed with the gifts of the Old Religion, I’d suggest continuing to stand in spell ready stances when someone approaches.  It DOES tend to give one away.”  He gave them a smile and Morgana smoothed the front of her dress while Merlin stayed still.

“As does approaching two unwary people with a congress of serkets at one’s back and being more concerned with the two people.”  The man acknowledged her point with a tilt of his head and answering grin as Morgana smiled at him smugly.  Merlin glanced between them and crossed his arms. 

“We seek the druid encampment.  We have no weapons.”  Morgana gave a guilty blush and cleared her throat.  Merlin sighed as she lifted her skirt slightly to show him the bandolier of knives strapped about her calves.  “We’re not here for a fight,” he corrected.  The man stayed still and waited and Merlin glanced back at Morgana for support.  She lifted her chin at him minutely in the direction of the man and Merlin stepped in front of her protectively. 

“This is Anna, and I’m Balin.  We’ve…  We need… would like, that is… Some help.  We need help.  And yes, we both have magic.”  The man tilted his head and looked at the horse, who was staring at him flatly and almost daring him to come within kicking or biting range.  After a moment, the big horse sniffed and walked away, ignoring them all with a disdain more akin to a cat than a horse.  The man looked back to Merlin and Morgana. 

“I am Rector.  I am a warden of these parts.”  It hung there for a moment as he studied them further until he abruptly turned and gestured behind him, back into the forest.  “I would offer the humble comfort of our camp.  You are welcome as long as you require aid.”  Merlin bowed and Morgana slipped her cowl over her head again and moved to the palfrey’s side, slipping the reins back over his head and moving him towards Merlin, who was feverishly packing the small picnic up and stuffing everything into his pack.  He took her hand and helped her up into the saddle before stepping up behind her.  They followed Rector deeper into the forest and looked about them.  He seemed to follow no overt path, much like Nimuen had done, and as they walked along slowly, both sorcerers kept a wary eye out for the serkets.  The beasts didn’t appear, however, as they moved through the trees and made their way to a small gully.  They dismounted and were led through a small tunnel of rock and moss that led out into a well concealed encampment nestled in a beautiful grove. 

A small rivulet of water ran down over the side of the rock face to their immediate left.  A plethora of herbs graced the rock wall, growing from the sunlight dappling through the high canopy and fed from the fine mist thrown up by the tumbling creek that spread out across the stone.  Morgana looked about in open joy and Rector slowed their pace to let her take in everything.  Everywhere her eyes travelled there were simple, plain tents and canvas stalls selling everything from sewing supplies to tent repairs.  There wasn’t a great deal of magic being performed that she could see, but she could feel it’s presence in the day to day goings on.  A barrel that held a water fountain that arched perfectly in five different directions.  Four fire pits cooking in unison with the same crackling flame at their centre that moved in sync.  And no swords.  Very little metal.  It was at once peaceful and how things should have been.  There was still an industrious air to the camp, with everyone bustling about their own business, but still quite familial and warm.  Children raced through the streets with laughing eyes and people looked on fondly while continuing about their business.  Nobody looked military, and nobody looked stern.  It was a peace she had never felt in Camelot.  When she turned to see Merlin’s reaction, he was pale and shivering as though pained.  Her hand lifted to his face and she felt a sudden heaviness through their bond. 

“What is it?”  Rector looked at the two of them calmly and Merlin gave her a weak frown.

“Wards,” he murmured lowly to her.  Rector’s eyes narrowed, but Merlin gritted his teeth and straightened.  “We’re walking through dozens of wards.  There’s a searching, hunting magic about this whole grove.  It’s almost… hungry.”  Rector’s eyes widened and he gave them both another assessing look.  Morgana concentrated for a moment, trying to See something about the camp until she shook her head in frustration.  Merlin kissed her forehead gently because it was there, and she shared a quick smile with him.  

“I can’t feel anything from them.  I don’t think they mean us any harm.”  She offered the last slowly, and was almost relived when Merlin shook his head.

“It’s not malicious.  It’s just… hunting.  Predatory.  And heavy.  Like old memories.”  He looked at Rector, who smiled with one eyebrow raised. 

“It’s searching for those without magic who might somehow find the camp.     It marks them.”  He shrugged and turned to go, but Morgana seized on his words.

“Marks them for what?”  He turned back and scoffed with a smile.

“We’re no armoured killers here.  It marks them so we can deal with them, if any come through here that aren’t of the Old Religion, then wardens will ensure they leave with no memory of this sacred place.  We’ve grown quite adept at confusion and misdirection in our mission here.”  He offered no more and Merlin took the proffered bait.

“And what mission might that be?”  Rector turned to lead them further into the camp, seemingly making for a colourful tent in the centre. 

“Existence,” he bit out.  “Our mission is to somehow live when we’re nothing but hunted ourselves.”  His stiff back ended any further comment or conversation, and so they continued on, following him into the camp.  Everywhere about them, on went the routines of the every day.  Food was cooked and clothes were washed and the simple existence around them seemed at once lost in the modern memories of Camelot and also far more profound.  Morgana watched as some young girls openly flirted with some older boys, giggling and laughing as they picked some herbs off the stone wall with quick, sharp knives of flint or stone and teasing lights in their eyes.  The young men smiled and boasted and flirted back and the elders looked on with smiles as the young men scampered up and down the rock wall daringly, lashing long bark pathways to the rock face to guide the water where they wanted it to go.  Elder men and women sat in small groups, all of them partaking in smaller activities like patching clothing or making it, and cooking and carrying water about.  Something about the simple existence called to her, and she wondered if in a past life or a different one, she’d been one of these people unbeknownst.  Lost in that thought, she wondered if she’d been happy in that life.      

Merlin stared about them, feeling the power of the wards they were moving through and unable to shake the feeling that he was in enemy territory.  He was here to discuss Camelot, definitely, but here too, he’d never seen such simple life.  It didn’t matter that theirs was a simple, uncomplicated existence.  They wielded magic, all of them, in little ways that bespoke of great familiarity with it.  Such power in the hands of Arthur’s enemies made him nervous.  They were a leaderless army, at the ready.  And they sat on Camelot’s doorstep.  The warlock frowned deeply as the responsibility of saving them AND all of Camelot began to press down on him. 

They moved up through the campsite behind Rector and when he got to the colourful tent in the centre, he turned back around to fix his eyes on them warningly. 

“We won’t brook any violence here.  You need to understand that.  But if you truly need help, this is where it will come from.”  Merlin nodded as Morgana followed suit. 

“Thank you,” she added, and he gave her another of those simpering smiles.  Merlin bristled and she reached out and grabbed his hand warningly.  Rector’s eyes dropped to their clasped hands and he looked away stiffly.  She didn’t return Merlin’s belligerent gaze until she had control of her features, and he at least had the grace to look ashamed when she squeezed his hand. Secretly a little pleased with his jealousy, she didn’t mention it, but her skin was very warm against his palm.

“Ready?”  He nodded and held the tent flap open for her, ushering her in before him.  On the other side of the thick, patched canvas was a large open area in which sat several young girls who stood up and boldly eyed them off.  An older, bearded druid smiled to himself as the girls moved towards them and Morgana’s hand tightened on Merlin’s.  The warlock couldn’t help the ironic laugh as he looked at Morgana’s steely gaze as one of them came too close, her rich brown hair braided and her large breasts on display in a tight top of leather and buckles.  Merlin glanced back at Morgana and hid his smile before he gave a guileful bow through the girls and stepped in front of the elder.  The girls took up stances behind them with the brunette beside Merlin and a hand on a dagger by her hip.  Morgana and Merlin turned their attention to the elder.

The bearded druid sat very still in the tent as they kneeled before him.  He had the triskelion marking over his left eye, and the other looked milky and blind but there was a casual comfort in his pose that told them he was no longer troubled by the apparent loss of vision.  The wise-looking old druid smiled at Morgana and turned his eye to towards Merlin.  His eye narrowed, just the white one, which was a bit disconcerting as he leaned forwards and reached out to Merlin, who hesitated only a moment before clasping hands.  The old man patted his thin fingers and smiled comfortingly.

“You’re much in love, warlock.”  Merlin didn’t look at Morgana, but gravely dipped his head.   “And fear.  Doubt.  Such a humanity; all those weaknesses, and you can’t see the strength in being who you are.”  He shook his head as Merlin stared at him.  He did chance a glance back at Morgana, who was watching the old man intently, almost protectively.  It was clear he was a Seer of some power, or at least could pick up on the truths of people.  Both of them separately worried that his vision would show why they were here.  Or at least reveal their deceptions.

“The Lady is pure as fresh fallen snow in her feelings, Warlock.  For such a towering power, you are much overburdened by the bitter jade of your perceived self-worth.”

“Your blindness must affect more than just your vision, old man.”  Merlin cast a slightly reassuring, at least he hoped, glance back to Morgana, but she bristled at the old Druid angrily.  She didn’t like the way he looked at Merlin; didn’t like the way he talked about Merlin as though Merlin were arrogant and undeserving.  The look he gave the warlock was shrewd when Merlin turned back to him, however.

“Do you not see, warlock?  She thinks you worthy of her.  We as a people build esteem not in our own self-doubt, but in the belief that others put into us.”  His white eye opened wide as he looked at Morgana.  “I should have added “or lack thereof,” I suppose, to be clear.  Forgive me, Lady Anna, but the most powerful warlock in history is far too self-effacing for my liking.  He ought to have a bit of haughtiness to him, don’t you think?”  Morgana raised her chin and glared at him with anger brightened eyes.

“I wouldn’t change him for the world.”  The old man smiled and turned back to Merlin. 

“And why did you flee Ealdor, Balin?  Your hands mark you a servant; was it not the life you wanted?”  Merlin stared at him for a moment, before smiling gently.

“It wasn’t about the life I wanted.  It was about who my heart wanted.  And could not have.” 

“You have her now.”  Merlin’s head nodded for a moment before he stoically shrugged.

“And everything she’s had to sacrifice is lying on my shoulders.”  The old man’s eyebrows went up in his weathered face and he stroked his beard thoughtfully.  Merlin thought it looked quite fine and distinguished. 

“Sacrifice is an interesting term, from a servant.”  Again came that stoic shrug.  It occurred to Morgana that Merlin didn’t care what the old man thought, though not out of defiance, or disrespect.  He was simply set in his mind how he felt about her.  Her eyes softened as she looked at him again. 

“How did you know our names?”  The old man smiled slowly.

 ** _“I was having a long conversation with my son as he brought you back.”_** Merlin cleared his throat as he looked up, meeting the old man’s eyes with his own. 

 ** _“Rector is your son.”_**   He wondered precisely how much the old man knew, and wouldn’t say in front of the young attendants. 

“ ** _Indeed.  And yes, Merlin, even though you kept it quite quiet, I do know how you are.  As my body has aged and withered, my magic has turned within.  The secrets kept within the minds of those around me are an open book to me, even if I no longer have the strength to walk on these legs.  Nimuen too has spoken to me from her camp, where she rests.  I know why you are here.  You seek a treaty, Dragonlord.  You will face much opposition, I fear.”_**   Merlin nodded and glanced back to Morgana, who was looking at the old man intently. 

 ** _“Do you lead here, grandfather?”_** she asked, a great deal more respect in her tone this time.  The old man smiled softly.

 ** _“Our ways are not your ways.  No “one” leads the many.  We are a people of individuality.  I have the wisdom granted from a lifetime of mistakes, Lady Morgana.  Sometimes those with difficulty in making decisions come to me and listen to the wisdom offered in those mistakes and sometimes they do not.  I asked Rector to bring you here because I wanted to speak to you about your purposes here.  In the irony of fate, I ask that you listen to my mistakes so that they are not repeated.”_** Merlin tucked Morgana’s hand beside him and grew still. 

 ** _“Morgana?”_** came the almost silent whisper in her mind. 

 ** _“Yes?”_** she answered, in what she hoped was a response just as silent. 

 ** _“What do you think?”_** For a moment, she smiled to herself that he asked of her what they should do, before she noted the old man staring at them curiously as they communicated.  Despite his proclamation, it seemed he knew they were speaking within, but could not hear it directly.  Clearly he couldn’t overhear when such a close bond was involved. 

 ** _“I think advice is free wisdom.  If it helps, what harm is there in listening?”_**   Merlin’s face didn’t change and he again looked behind them, where the girls were watching them intently.  The old man lifted his head.

“These guests ask for privacy for but a moment on a private manner.  You can wait outside, my dears.”  The girls filed out guardedly and the old man smiled indulgently as the brunette with the large breasts narrowed her eyes and closed the tent flap behind her.  “My granddaughters.  Powerful priestesses all and constant joys despite how overprotective they can be.  Now.  My name is Garád.”  Morgana opened her mouth and he shook his head again, tapping his temple near his white eye. 

 ** _“Let us continue to speak within ourselves for the moment.  The mind may keep silent what ears would otherwise hear.”_** Morgana shifted from her knees to sitting cross-legged.  Merlin sprawled back for a moment and then gracefully folded himself into a likewise pose. 

 ** _“You seem to agree with our coming here,”_** she ventured, and the old man nodded.  **_“Then you know our goal is to find a way to peaceably enfold the druid people into alliance under Camelot’s banner.”_**   The old man grinned. 

 ** _“That is your goal.  That is not our goal.  Our goal is to ensure our existence beyond Camelot’s righteousness.  Our goal is to ensure the fulfilment of the Prophecy of Emerys.”_**   Morgana’s eyes narrowed. 

 ** _“Nimuen’s already attempted to bed him.  And failed.”_**   Garád’s good eye brightened smugly at her, though his lip only twitched in amusement. 

 ** _“Did she fail, or did she find a different way to succeed more akin to the desires of the Old Gods?  It seems to me that she has ensured that that very prophecy came to pass, simply in a manner unexpected.  Here before us sits Emerys himself.  The only missing facet is his joining to a High Priestess.”_**   Morgana stared at him and suddenly stood, anger across her statuesque features.  She turned to Merlin, who scrambled to his feet with no sign of the grace he’d sat with. 

“We… I’m leaving.  I didn’t come here to give you away to some barely grown girl with more breasts than brains and...  I’ve given a lot up to Camelot already.  I won’t do that.”  Garád struggled out of the chair he sat in and faced her, bracing himself unsteadily.  In spite of himself, Merlin reached out to steady him and the old man’s face showed his thanks even as he turned to Morgana urgently.

“And what of you, Le Fay?  What makes you say you’d have to give him away to another?  Are you not powerfully gifted by the Old Religion?”  His voice wavered for a moment as his strength gave out, and he slumped back down into the chair painfully.  Morgana stared at him before coming back closer.

“What about me?”  Garád stared at her meaningfully and nodded his head towards her, letting her think about it.  When it finally clicked what he was meaning, she sat down in front of him and looked at Merlin, who was glancing between them in confusion.  **_“I don’t know the first thing about being a priestess…”_**   Merlin’s eyes widened and then he smiled hugely at her.  Despite herself, Morgana smiled back at him ruefully.  He was adorable when he smiled so wide. 

 ** _“Neither did Nimueh, child.  Until she came to us, and I taught her.”_**   Garád’s sadness seeped back into his eye and he looked between the two of them.  He looked down at his hands and put his palms down on his thin, weathered knees. 

 ** _“Nimueh sought to gain an alliance with Camelot.  She was a Seer also, Morgana, and her visions showed her the greatness that Camelot is to become.  She sought to endear herself to the young king and his barren wife, and when word came that the king sought physicians across the kingdom for her wife, she stole into the palace and offered her services.  At first, Uther denied her, politely.  Years moved on and finally, as a last resort, he sought her out again.  You know the rest of this sad tale.”_** Merlin nodded and shared a long look with Morgana. 

 ** _“Nimueh knew what it was to be a High Priestess, beyond the trappings that come with power.  She let herself deny that responsibility and left her soul in Camelot when she fled Uther’s wrath at the Queen’s death.  Bitter and angry, she… well, it’s as you know it.  She changed.  She was one like Nimuen, at the dawn of her life.  So full of promise and brightness.  But she fell to the dark, as so many do.”_**   Merlin moved behind Morgana and put his arms around her.  She leaned back into him and felt him kiss the top of her head. 

 ** _“Why DO so many of the Old Religion fall to its darkness?  There seems no grey to it, only ever the good or the evil and almost no person in between.”_** he asked.  He was clearly thinking of someone, or perhaps multiple people, and Morgana drew his arms around her and laid her head on his arm.  She could hear his heart hammering in his chest as he dealt with emotions far deeper than what he was letting show on his face.  The old man stroked his beard again thoughtfully. 

 ** _“You think of the lives you’ve taken in your years in Camelot, Emerys?  A cautionary tale, of course…”_**   He nodded again and watched Merlin do the same, lost in his memories.  The young warlock’s arms tightened around Morgana and she kissed his upper arm through his plain smock as she held him reassuringly.  **_“Power is a corruptor, warlock.  And there is no power like that of the Old Religion.  It gives life and breath to dragons and ants, flowers and weeds and both good people and bad.  It is an intoxicant, and as such, requires the will of the Land itself…”_** He broke off and stared up to the ceiling of the tent for a long moment, stroking his beard.  Merlin brought a hand up and scratched his chin thoughtfully as he wondered about leaving off shaving for a few days.  Morgana took his hand away from his chin and claimed it with her lips again.  **_“There is no real mystery to it, Emerys.  To wield the Old Religion is to hold within your hands the power of your mind’s eye.  The heart and the mind often battle, and when the heart can react much quicker than the mind with such power, consequences pile up.  It is not that those with magic are evil.  It is that they are human.  As petty and small in their own ways as the rest of us.  But with enormous power to fulfil those fleeting, rage-filled thoughts that we sometimes indulge in.  Once you have made those mistakes…  It can be hard to turn back.  Not impossible… but hard.”_** He lapsed into contemplative silence and eventually shook his head.

“My manners seem to be lost,” he said aloud, breaking the long silence.  Morgana blinked her burning eyes and tried to focus.  “You will of course be given a place to stay, and I’m sure rest will be on your minds, among other things.”  Merlin blushed and Morgana chewed her bottom lip in delight, trying to hide her smile at him.  Garád looked up.  “Melanthe?”  In an instant, the brunette led the rest of the girls were back inside, filling the tent near the doorway as Morgana and Merlin stood up. 

“Show Anna and Balin to Lucah, that he might find them a place to lie.  They will be staying with us for some time, I’d imagine.”  Having given his approval of them, Garád’s granddaughters’ countenance seemed to lighten immediately.  They were suddenly smiling kindly as they led the two out of the tent and back through the encampment.  There were led back towards the herb wall, which Merlin was staring at in a tired, distracted daze.  One of the flirting boys dropped down in front of them and Garád’s granddaughters all began to smile outrageously at him, save for the striking brunette Melanthe, who was about his own age.  She ignored her simpering siblings and waited calmly beside Merlin and Morgana.  The young man moved through the bevy of girls and came to stand in front of them.  He bowed low and his eyes were for the oldest one and her alone as he perfunctorily greeted Merlin and Morgana, introducing himself as Lucah. 

“Hey Melanthe.”  The oldest girl looked away and he swallowed sadly before turning to them.  “We’ve just cleared some space on the west path, if you like sunshine, but if you like shade and water, we’ve got a tent just over here that’s free now that Derran and Kully have moved in together.  It’s clean, just a bit close to all the herbs, so it smells a bit strange depending on the weather.”  Merlin’s eyes widened as he smelled the herbs strongly and his looked hopefully to Morgana, who nodded. 

“Just here will be fine.  Balin was something of an apothecary at our last home.” 

“That’s great…  Maybe some time when you’re settled he can swing by the herbs and see if there’s anything he can help with.”  Merlin nodded optimistically, but Lucah didn’t take his heart-full eyes off Melanthe as she led them towards the empty tent and the gaggle of Melanthe’s sisters faded as he turned back sadly.  Melanthe opened the small tent flap and wrote their names on a small plank of wood with quick strokes of a brush and some white ink she’s carried with her.  It was ingeniously stoppered with cork that had a small brush embedded into the soft wood.  Merlin noted it with a considerable interest even as he ducked inside.  

“He’s cute,” Morgana noted as the young girl rehung the sign and nodded to Lucah.  Melanthe sniffed in a show of disdain. 

“And every one of my sister’s thinks so.  Every girl in the CAMP thinks so.  So the second I’m NOT, he’ll dump me and move on.  I won’t be another notch on his dagger.  I’m one of the only girls in the camp he hasn’t danced with.  He’s never asked, so I know for a fact that he’s not interested in me beyond sneaking over the ridge to the lover’s caves.”  Morgana smiled. 

“Good for you.  But maybe it won’t end up like that.  He seems like to like you.  A lot more than you seem want him to know you return.”  Her smile broadened.  “Maybe it will do him good to like someone that doesn’t like him back.  Treat them mean, keep them keen.”  Melanthe narrowed her eyes as Merlin stuck his head back out of the tent. 

“Pardon, but would you mind taking me back to Garád’s tent?  We left our horse out the front, and I’d rather unpack him so he can roam a bit, if that’s alright?”  Melanthe looked at Morgana and rolled her eyes somewhat. 

“I’ll bring him down for you.  Anything else you’d like?”  Merlin shrugged as he came back out fully from the tent.  Morgana couldn’t believe his energy; she was practically falling asleep on her feet after riding all night. 

“Some way to help out?  We bring nothing but our burdens to you, and if there’s anything I can… sorry, we could do?”  Morgana looked longingly at the bed and then squared herself towards Melanthe.  The young girl looked at the bags under her eyes and frowned at Merlin sternly. 

“YOU can help out.  I’d suggest that you let HER sleep.  Did you drag her through the forest all night?”  Merlin’s head tilted and he stuttered adorably as Morgana yawned tiredly.  He reached out and held her for a moment and nodded towards Melanthe. 

“You’re right.  Do you mind if she sleeps?”  Melanthe shook her head and stormed off as Lucah came back to them, staring at her in confusion.  Morgana smiled and patted Merlin reassuringly on the hip as she ducked behind him and into the tent.  It was sparse indeed, with only a cot and a small table, about chest height if you sat on the ground.  But it had a bed and pillow that had been recently cleaned, and she laid down, wrapping herself in the cloak and relaxing. 

“So, not to bother you so soon, but you said you knew a bit about plants?”  Lucah’s distracted voice opened her eyes as she stared at the shadows playing on the side of the tent.  Merlin dragged his hands through his hair and nodded. 

“Not in so many words, but I do know a bit.  Happy to help if you need?”  They wandered off and Morgana closed her eyes. 

∞₸∞

When she woke, the sunlight was on a far different angle, dappling warm orange onto the opposite side of the tent.  Small vents in the side let in some fresh air, but it was considerably warmer than when she’d gone to sleep.  She pushed herself up on the bed and looked around.  Their leather back packs and water skins were folded neatly in a pile on the far side of the tent behind the small table, upon which sat all her belongings, straightened out and in easy reach.  Merlin had obviously returned and unpacked the returned palfrey at some stage, and had just as quietly snuck back out again.  She lifted the hood on her travellers cloak and moved out of the tent slowly.  Her boots were sitting at the edge of the bed, but the grass felt good under her feet, and she left them there.  There was a soft nicker from behind her and she turned and greeted the grey horse wordlessly and rubbed at his nose as she sleepily wondered where Merlin was.

“He’s been taken away, nothing nefarious.  If you’re worried, I mean.  Hi.  I’m Lucah?” offered the nervous youth as he came up to her with a smile.  His smock was filthy, and his face showed the grime of his work, green smudges of moss stain and black mud, but his smile was wide and his manner cheerful.  Morgana raised an eyebrow with a smile.

“Nothing permanent, I hope?”  Lucah grinned and shook his head as Morgana turned to face him.  The horse butted her gently to make her resume her petting, and Lucah laughed.  Morgana could see why the girls of the camp would like him.  His laugh was easy and despite the mess, she could tell how handsome he was.  But there was a sadness to him that reminded her of Merlin somehow, too.  Behind the eyes, there was something much more profound.  “What’s his name?”

“We never gave him one,” she shrugged, and tilted her chin up towards the now completed network of pots and herbs lashed to the rock face.  “What have you got going there?”  Lucah turned and admired his handiwork. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?  The bark’s been treated with a different tree resin that repels water.  At first, we only had that narrow sliver where we could plant some herbs, and had to scour the forest for the rest.  But now, the bark tubes carry the water further along the rock face and we can plant more.  The wire and rope holds it in place and Balin helped us sort out which plants would do better closer to the water and which would be better further away.”  Lucah cheerfully nodded in Morgana’s direction and smiled broadly at her.  “Hell of a man, that one of yours.”  She smiled and looked around.

“Speaking of, you say he’s been taken away?”  Lucah nodded.

“One of the men helping me had to leave because his wife has taken ill with their first baby.  We don’t have many healers around, none left until another week or so to be honest.  Magic can only do so much when it’s not your strong point, and well… Balin just up and offered to help.”  Morgana smiled. 

“He does that.  How long ago was that?”  Lucah offered her his arm and she took it, letting him lead her away from the tent and into the encampment.  People passed them, nodding to Morgana thankfully, which she found strange, given that she hadn’t done anything. 

“About three hours ago.  He took one look at Willet’s wife and started ordering herbs and weeds like a general bussing about troops.  He mixed her up some horrid looking paste and made her swallow the whole thing, and she fell dead to sleep.  Then he made up another paste and put it on her mouth and near her ears and now she’s sitting up talking a storm about how she hasn’t felt that good in ages.  Old Willet just about shook Balin’s hand off, and then word got around and now he’s been set up in a tent on the back of the ridge and everyone’s coming in to see him for just about anything!”  Lucah stopped and paled as he rounded the corner with Morgana and came face to face with Melanthe, who was quick stepping down to the rock wall with an empty basket that still smelled strongly of the herbs and weeds that had been carried in it all afternoon.  Melanthe looked at Morgana and her eyes dropped to their linked arms.  She moved past them without a word and her head held straight.

“She doesn’t even see me,” Lucah moaned quietly beside her.  Morgana almost laughed but covered her mouth instead.  Lucah glanced at her and his tone took on a light, innocuous note.  “You and Balin have been together a while, right?  You act like, I mean.”  Morgana nodded.

“We’ve known one another for a long time now.  It took us a long time to know what we wanted from one another, at any rate.”  Lucah nodded carefully.  Morgana tugged them forwards as Lucah stared behind them after Melanthe.  “I was just wondering.”  Morgana patted his arm reassuringly.

“You’re very young,” she noted.  Lucah turned his face towards her.  “And so is Melanthe.  It will get easier.  She does like you, you know.  She just doesn’t want to be another notch on your dagger hilt.”  Lucah scowled and she gave him a penetrating glance.  “She doesn’t have a point?  She says you won’t dance with her.”  Lucah looked torn before he nodded dejectedly. 

“I’ve never danced with her.  I’ve never had the courage to ask.  I’ll dance with anyone else, but every time I try and dance with her, I just lose my nerve and ask whoever she’s sitting with.  I don’t know how to talk to her.”  Morgana shook her head. 

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.  You like her, so you dance with all her friends?”  Lucah nodded helplessly and she laughed brightly. 

“I just can’t speak to her at all.  I don’t know how to talk to her.  I can’t.  I can talk to anyone, and it’s nothing like the mess I make of myself whenever I try and dance with her.  Or talk to her even.”  Morgana nodded as they made their way towards a thick crowd, gathered around a hastily constructed tent that leaned to one side.  Like a small pavilion, it was open and let the air in, though one corner had been sewn with a thick canvass sheet for privacy. 

“So don’t speak to her.  You don’t have to say anything.  Just offer her your hand, Lucah.  Don’t try and be brash, or cocky, just be real and offer your hand to dance.  Let her decide.  It’s only a dance.  Once she’s in your arms, things might be easier.  Real, horrible honesty can help, too.  Tell her how much you hate the fact you can’t talk to her.  It will get the conversation started.”  Lucah blanched, but held her fingertips and gave an almost courtly bow at the door of the tent.  Morgana smiled and turned, heading inside with a murmured apology to the old couple nervously waiting at the door.   

Merlin sat on a stool, looking completely exhausted as he gravely examined a very pale young boy with sandy blond hair.  The bags under Merlin’s eyes were huge, and the whites of his eyes were bloodshot.  He swayed a little as he put his hand on the boy’s back and rubbed it vigorously.  After a moment, the boy coughed with a vicious hack and gave a sob as Merlin held a bucket for him and the boy opened his mouth wide and hacked again.  Something wet hit the bottom of the bucket with a squelch.  The old woman at the front made to step forward as the boy sobbed again and held his throat, but her husband held her back and shook his head faintly.  Merlin stared into the bucket and showed it to the boy.  They both stayed still for a moment until Merlin put the bucket down. 

“You haven’t eaten any frogs, have you?”  He stared at the boy as if it was a perfectly legitimate question, and the boy shook his head seriously.  He couldn’t have been more than seven or eight, and Merlin narrowed his eyes at him.  The young boy coughed uncomfortably again and Merlin handed him a goblet of water.  The boy drank and coughed again, and mutely reached for the bucket as Merlin nodded sagely.  Once the coughing and sobbing stopped, he put the bucket down in a very businesslike manner.

“It’s definitely frog sweat.  That’s why it’s green.  There’s only one thing that can be done.”  He picked up a huge hammer beside him and tapped it to his chin as the boys eyes widened and he looked on the verge of tears.  Merlin looked at the hammer in seeming confusion and then put it down again and the boy nearly sagged with relief.  Merlin reached behind him and picked out two bottles from a small shelf and gave one to the young boy and mimed a drinking motion, before setting the other one aside beside him.  He waited until the boy held his nose and tipped the tonic down his throat.  He looked surprised for a moment before letting go of his nose and holding the bottle up, waiting for the last drops to slide down onto his tongue before handing the small vial back to Merlin.

“Frogs love horrible things to eat.  Candies and meats and things like that.  They eat flies, of course, so anything else is just horrible for them.  You’re going to need to eat lots of spinach and carrots and beans to get rid of it.  Eat enough vegetables, and you’ll stop the frog from turning you into a troll.  It’ll run out of your mouth one night and you won’t even know it’s gone, but for the cough will go away.”  The boy stared at Merlin in something very close to horror, and the warlock sighed melodramatically even as he nodded and Morgana looked away, hiding her smile as the young boy turned back to his parents as if he couldn’t believe the trick that life had played on him.

“Have you ever seen a troll, Selvarr?”  The boy shook his head and Merlin nodded again, looking up at the ceiling and rubbing his fingertips over his chin.  It had been nearly two days since a razor had been near his face, and it was beginning to show.  The rough rasp of his hair against his fingertips made her fingers itch to take a razor to his clean up his face herself.

“But you know what they are?”  The young boy nodded mutely again.  “Trolls, you might not know, were once younger folk who let the frogs simmer in them until the warts on the frog filled the person inside and out and turned their skin to look like toad skin.  Horrible business.  All avoidable but for a quick bout of vegetables and then adding them to your dinner every night.”  The boy looked behind him to the older man, who nodded gravely to him.  Then the boy sighed and lifted his hands up towards Merlin and moved them in a strangely compelling series of poses until he ludicrously screwed his face up in a mock fierce pose.  Merlin looked back at the woman by the door curiously. 

“He’s asking if he can stop being a troll when he gets taller, or if he has to start on the vegetables straight away,” she translated.  The boy looked back at Merlin seriously and Morgana bit her lip to stop from laughing as Merlin considered it. 

“A side effect of the vegetables is that they actually help you grow taller and stronger, too.  They’re not as bad as you might think, even though frogs hate them.”  The boys eyes went wide and he lift his hand up high, but kept it flat. 

“Taller?” came the translation, and Merlin nodded.  The boy looked back accusingly at his mother and his hands gestured in short, sharp movements ending with a small squiggle in the air with a curled finger.  His father stepped forward and moved his hand broadly across in front of him and the young man’s anger lost its flare. 

“We DID tell you, Selvarr, but you didn’t believe us, and every time we tried to give you… troll medicine… you wouldn’t eat it, and you’d throw your tantrums.”  Selvarr crossed his arms definitely and looked back at Merlin, who copied his stance and gravely nodded.  The young boy’s emotions played across his face and then he hung his head and gave a soft tilt of his head towards his mother and father and made a small movement with his hand that seemed strangely placating.  His mother gave a soft cry and took him up in her arms.  She squeezed him and Morgana shared a soft smile with Merlin as the boy hugged her back fiercely and repeated the same gesture to his father over his mother’s shoulder.  He strode forward with a proud smile and ruffled the boy’s hair.  Merlin took a tired breath.

“Leafy greens for a while, to help restore his blood, then make sure he gets a good heaping of vegetables as often as you can.  Don’t give in just because he doesn’t like them, okay?”  He handed them the vial he’d set aside earlier.  “A lid’s worth of this every night for the next week should get the… um… troll barking under control.  But he needs to get stronger and only more vegetables will help with that.  Try and keep him warm and if things get worse, come back and see me.”  The man shared a glance with his wife and then all three left the tent.  Outside, Melanthe stood there with her basket, but on seeing Morgana, she hung back at the entrance, giving them a moment of privacy.  Morgana sat beside Merlin and held his head to her shoulder for a moment. 

“He came late in their lives, and he was born mute.  They’re too preoccupied with how precious he is to them and they don’t seem to want to be parents, only friends.  I guess time will tell.”  He sounded so tired, and Morgana worried at him, checking his temperature and then his heartbeat, but she had no idea what she was doing, and Merlin’s amused grin told her so. 

“You’ve been awake for nearly two straight days, Mer…my love.”  She glanced at the tent flap, but Melanthe’s feet stayed still, giving no sign she’d heard the slip up.   Merlin shook his head tiredly. 

“They’re missing most of their healers, so there’s a lot of people that…”

“They can come back tomorrow,” came Melanthe’s voice through the canvas.  There was a moment of silence and then they heard the marking of feet on ground as the line dissipated back into the camp.  Melanthe cleared her throat and Morgana murmured her thanks as she looked Merlin over worriedly.  His skin was pale and grey and his eyes were thick with bulging veins, and Morgana glared at him. 

“You are coming with me.  Now,” she ordered with steel in her voice.  Merlin smiled and didn’t offer any argument as Melanthe put the basket full of herbs down on the bench and ducked under Merlin’s other arm.  They made their way down towards the stone wall and Merlin was sweating by the time they got back to the tent. 

“This seemed a much shorter trip earlier today,” he commented thickly, slurring slightly.  They ushered him into the bed inside the tent and Melanthe turned quickly once he had lain down in the cot. 

“I’ll grab you some blankets and some food.  It gets cold here next to the waterfall.”  Morgana nodded her thanks and the young girl disappeared out of the tent.  The sorceress ran a hand through her tangled hair and then lit the small, dinner plate sized fire in the pit dug in the centre of the tent with a murmured “ _forbærne_.”  Melanthe announced herself and ducked back inside the tent, with a folded blanket nursing a small clay pot on top of it that had steam coming out of it.  Melanthe used a small, stout stick from the wood pile by the door to lay the stew pot onto the side of the fire, banking it against the slowly forming coals.  Morgana grabbed the blanket and spread it out over Merlin, who had closed his eyes.  His boots stuck out the bottom of the cot, and she shared an amused glance with Melanthe as she resignedly tugged at his feet.   

“I spoke with Lucah today.” Morgana began.  Melanthe looked down at her hands and nodded wordlessly as she poked at the fire.  Even though it was only small, it quickly warded off the dampness and cold that was pervading the canvas.  Morgana looked at the material, but couldn’t see anything special about it, despite the fact that what little smoke and cinders swirled upwards from the tiny fire seemed to pass right through the canvas up into the night sky. 

“I noticed,” Melanthe begrudged evenly.  Morgana smiled.

“Do you WANT him to dance with you?”  Melanthe looked back at Merlin and then met Morgana’s eyes.  She squatted down beside the fire, her eyes faraway.

“More than anything.  But he never wants to.”  Her quiet admission had Morgana smiling in victory as she got Merlin’s boots off.  He had a hole in one sock and she put her hands on her hips in amused frustration. 

“What if I were to tell you that the reason he never asks you to dance is because he really likes you and he’s terrified of you not liking him?”  She let the offhand comment stand for a moment before sneaking a glance towards Melanthe, who was smiling beatifically to herself and preening slightly.  Morgana smiled. 

“We’ll see,” Melanthe griped matter of factly as she smoothed her dress and stood up.  She turned back to Morgana and offered a slight smile.  “Balin’s a real blessing.  We haven’t had someone come here and help so many so quickly in a long time, if ever.  Whatever the reason you’re here… I’m glad of it.”  Morgana ducked her head in thanks as Melanthe let the tent flap down and the darkness began to cover the encampment more than the dying light of the early evening sun.  Morgana slipped the ingenious little spoon handle into the groove in the pot lid and lifted it off slightly.  A simple throw together of meat and vegetables, the stew was plain fare but deliciously seasoned with garlic and salts and peppers with fresh rosemary going perfectly with the thick chunks of lamb.  She spooned some into one of the small wooden bowls on the table and put the lid back on using the handle of the ladle again.  She stared into the fire as she ate, quietly, listening to Merlin breathe. 

“Just can’t leave well enough alone, can you?”  His sleepy voice came close to her and Morgana turned, keeping her bowl under her mouthful of stew that threatened to dribble out at any moment.  Morgana chewed slowly as she tried to keep her smile together, even as more heat bled through the crushed food in her mouth and she breathed inelegantly right in front of him.  Merlin laughed low and closed his eyes again as she took a mouthful of water from the skin and grimaced at the leathery taste of it after sitting in the bag all day. 

“Leave what alone?” she questioned, wiping her mouth with a thumb and savouring the flavours.  Absently, she wondered if she’d be able to get the recipe from the cooks and if the seasonings were perishable or could be dried. 

“Lucah and Melanthe.  I know what you see in them.”  Morgana smiled to herself and nodded. 

“Us, yes,” she admitted, as she reached forward and pushed his hair out of his closed eyes.  Merlin smiled gently at her touch.  “I just…”  She shrugged as Merlin opened his eyes and looked at her.  Morgana put the bowl down on the table and tied the tent closed with the loose straps on the inside, and then took off her clothes and slipped into the cot with him.  Merlin barely moved aside from a hiss as her feet slid onto his warm shins and the tops of his feet and momentarily froze them.  He opened an eye and she grinned impishly at him.  She touched his nose with hers and snuggled into his chest before he could complain.  After a moment, she wrapped her legs around his and nestled the cold tops of her feet against the backs of his calves and Merlin growled low in the back of his throat.  Morgana touched his lips with her fingertips and his blue eyes opened to her kissing him softly.  Merlin gentled against her.  “I don’t want anyone to have to wait if this is what they’re missing out on.  I don’t want anyone to have to wait like we did.”  Merlin took that in and then sighed as he moved his arms around her and she snuggled into his warmth.  After a long moment, Merlin’s breathing deepened, and he fell asleep.  Morgana pulled her head back and looked at him, watching him sleep in the flickering light of the small fire. 

“I love you, Merlin.”

 


End file.
